There are many definitions of wrong.  These include:

a) not in accordance with what is morally right or good

b) deviating from truth or fact; erroneous

c) not correct in judgement, opinion, method, etc

d) not proper or usual;  not in accordance with requirements or recommended practice

e) out of order; awry; amiss

Many people make false judgements based on appearance, colour of skin, race, gender and so on.  Below is a picture of me on a night out:

Looking at the picture you might assume that I am healthy, that there is nothing wrong at all in my life.  However, this would be wrong…

This was taken on a rare night out; usually I am too unwell to go out in the evening; instead putting on a pair or pyjamas and watching television cocooned in my snuggie.  Often my legs are far too weak to be able to enjoy a good night out, too dizzy and sick to sit in a restaurant with lots of stimulation surrounding me.

This is also a problem with the disability benefits assessments; too many false judgements are made; on one occasion where I had failed a medical, the report commented on how I looked well, dressed smartly.  So, does that mean that just because I suffer from a chronic illness and am disabled that I cannot dress in nice clothes and look smart?  Seeing me for approximately 20 minutes which mainly involves sitting down, that made a judgement that I was able to walk a certain distance, where in reality it was completely inaccurate, instead my legs give way and left unable to walk very far.

I think it is an important lesson for us all; not to judge people on a first meeting or just by looking at them – as the saying goes ‘When you assume , you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”! 

Love to know your thoughts and comments – what does the word ‘wrong’ look like to you?

Comments

  1. 5kidswdisabilities Reply

    I share your frustration at what people think…”normal”…if you look “normal” there is nothing wrong with you. As the parent of 5 children who LOOK normal, but who harbor serious illnesses, I understand what you mean.

    • Thank you for the reply. Totally agree with your sentiments; people often assume that there cannot be much wrong with me as I look “fine” although I often feel far from “fine”. Going out, or to doctors appointments I often get looks when I have my crutch as if they are asking themselves why on earth I would need one as I haven’t got a broken leg or anything wrong which may require one. Think it may be one of the most frustrating things with living with a chronic, invisible condition.

      Hope you and your children are well

  2. My definition of ‘wrong’ is usually ‘whatever I say or think’. I had exactly the same experience as yourself with the Atos assessment. As yourself, the nurse wrote that I appeared smartly dressed (I wasn’t), made eye contact (I certainly did not), etc, and failed me. She stated categorically that I was fit for work, and able to do a lot of things I can’t. So, I started making myself do a lot more things … she is a medical professional, so surely she knows better than myself … I suffered a major relapse, becoming bedbound for two months as a result. She was wrong. She however, had suggested in a roundabout way I suppose, that I was wrong, so perhaps wrong .. is wrong .. too?

    • Thank you do much for your comment. You raised some fantastic and thought-provoking points!! It is true that for one person a conclusion which is reached may be wrong but for another it may not be.

      I share your frustration with the whole ATOS debacle, I too have found the statements they have reached in the medical assessment report is far from what I experience in my daily life; twisting what I have told them or completely omitting other details I have given them to suit their own agenda.

      I am so sorry to hear of the deterioration in your condition and hope you get better soon

      Take care

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