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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based upon prompts given.

Today’s prompt reads as follows:

Theme Song…Imagine your health focus or blog is getting its own theme song.  Think “Eye of the Tiger” for Rocky Balboa.  What would the lyrics be?  What type of music would it be played to?

 

This is a tough question…how do you find a theme song for a condition, which is for one unusual and rare, and secondly one in which you do not entirely understand yourself?

Then, I though that I would base my choice of theme song on the experience of living with my particular condition.  For example, the weakness in my leg; this is one of my main symptoms and one which causes the greatest burden in my life.  The burden that it places, is largely due to the severe weakness and trembling in the legs – for example, I am unable to stand for very long and are known for giving way on me without any warning and at the most inconvenient times.  This has led to many falls in public; as well as falls down the stairs and even whilst walking up the stairs!  These falls have been increasing in number recently, you can read a previous post entitled ‘Falling Down a Vortex‘ which describes my experience of my condition as it is currently, as well as describing a recent fall down the stairs I had in which my Kindle bared the brunt of the damage as it is beyond repair as a result.

The majority of the time after a fall, I am left unable to get straight back up because of the fatigue and weakness in my body, that the condition has left me with.  However, no matter how long it takes me to recover from a fall, I do eventually rise and get back up.  And so, that is the reason why I selected the one-hit wonder ‘Tubthumping (I Get Knocked Down) by Chumbawamba) as the theme song for my condition.  Perhaps not the entire song, mind you (especially as it is a song about drinking and getting drunk! Honestly my falls are because of a medical condition and not because I am inebriated), but just the following lyrics taken from the song:

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never going to keep me down

 

These lyrics, in my opinion, reflects life with any chronic illness.  Chronic illness, forces us to be knocked down a lot of the time  by worsening symptoms, as well as being knocked down emotionally.  But just as the song suggests, we eventually get up again.  We are all  fighters.  We are all survivors.  And as fighters and survivors we never allow our illnesses beat us and keep us down for long.

The song is also extremely catchy, and just like any catchy song, it is one you cannot get out of your head – just like chronic illnesses.  We are unable to forget about it; and it is in our heads constantly, just like an upbeat unforgettable pop song!

Here is a video of the said song for you to enjoy!:

 

As a note, I would like the opportunity to publicly thank Amazon UK who after hearing about my accident and my broken Kindle, very kindly offered a replacement one free of charge!  It was so lovely of them and cannot thank them enough for their amazing generosity!

Hey Everyone

Haven’t posted in a while, for which I apologise for, but lately am finding things so tough as of late.

The symptoms that I experience with my condition – as I have mentioned before:

  • Dizziness
  • Stiffness and weakness in legs (Spastic Paraparesis)
  • Sporadic episodes of vertigo with visual disturbances such as double vision, tunnel vision

All these seem to worsening… for example, a couple of days this week my legs were so weak that I could barely stand, and as a consequence most of those days were spent in bed watching mind-numbing day-time television, or listening to audio books – I love reading but the visual disturbances were so bad that I really was unable to focus on a book, and after several recommendations from others in a similar position to mind, bought some audiobooks to pass the time when I am having bad times and unable to read.

My legs were trembling so bad, a feeling similar to when your legs feel like jelly when you are nervous, that I just was unable to stand for very long, so really was unable to do much at all and realised how much we all take for granted – going for a showers, making a drink or lunch for ourselves, and so on.  The dizziness was also very intense, as I have mentioned before the dizziness is constantly there, but the intensity of it changes from day-to-day, sometimes moment to moment.  The way it makes me feel is as if I am totally unbalanced, and unable to ground myself, and when standing I can literally feel myself swaying back and forth.  The episodes of vertigo, however differs in that they are episodic, and so come and go (although are becoming much more frequent) and with the vertigo comes the sensation of the world moving, for many it feels as if the room is spinning.  However, I would describe it as everything moving back and forth, and often includes tunnel vision.

As I was so bad my parents pushed me into making another appointment to see our local GP.. after some thought I have made one, although I just get this feeling that I am just wasting the time of the doctor, as it has already  been said that there is nothing that can be done, so it there much point in going?  Should I ask to see the neurological consultant again, even though they are unable to do anything for me?

And on top of all this – it’s also the emotional impact living with a chronic or life-long condition, the feeling of being alone, that no-one else understands what you are going through.  The isolation of being in a room by oneself, no-one to talk to…

Feelings of loneliness and isolation...

Through all of this, not being able to go by myself, in case of a fall or if the visual disturbances come on with no warning, leaving me unable to really focus on where I am (dangerous and could lead to an accident), it has left me very lonely and with no friends, apart from my online support network which is fantastic, but just wish that I could live a normal life, and do things with someone else such as shopping, or going for a cup of coffee, etc.

However this is the card I have been dealt, and maybe there is a reason why ‘this’ did happen to me., and am meant to do something with everything I have dealt with or have learnt from all of this… Now I just need to find the answer and what I am able to do with my life….

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