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HAWMC Day 26: Navigating the Ups and Downs of Chronic Illness…

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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based on given prompts.

Sunday 26th April: Make it a great day!

Life is full of ups and downs.  Sometimes, the type of day we have is out of our control, but other times, we can influence how our day is going.  Come up with 5 tips for changing your frame of mind when you’re having a bad day!

There is saying that says ‘Life is like a rollercoaster.’  And this saying, perfectly sums up what it is to live with a chronic illness.

Every day there are many ups and downs as a result of our chronic illnesses.

There are plenty of ‘up’ moments, little moments that make the day worthwhile and gives us a reason to smile.

However, inevitably there are just as many ‘down’ moments, usually as a result of the onset of symptoms, and other effects that are a result of living with a chronic illness.

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It is true that we as individuals have control over how we are feeling and therefore influence how our day is going.  However, as those of living with a chronic illness will relate, often our symptoms and our long-term health condition very often dictate the type of day we are going to have.

Take yesterday, for instance, as my Mum has the week off from work, we were planning a trip to a local out-of-town shopping centre, which I was really looking forward to, especially as trips out, particularly those with Mum and Dad are rare.

However, on the morning of the planned trip, I awoke feeling exceptionally weak.  During the night, I experienced excruciating pain in my legs, and in the morning, I found that they were weak and barely strong enough to hold me up, never mind being strong enough to allow me to walk around shops for most of the morning.

Furthermore, the constant dizziness that I experience as a result of the brain stem lesion was exceptionally intense.

As a result, therefore, I felt that I was too unwell to go on the planned trip, and instead spent most of the day lying on the sofa beneath my comforting duvet whilst my parents went shopping.  It was disappointing and frustrating not being able to do something that I was so looking forward to, and just one example of not being in control of how our day is going.

So, on these bad days, and the days in which we have no control over our day as a result of illness, how can we help change our frame of mind to make a bad day seem less so?  Here are 5 tips that can help change our day:

  • Practice gratitude: In my experience, using a gratitude journal and practicing gratitude can greatly help change our mindset.  In these gratitude journals, it is useful to write at least 3 good things that happened to you during the day no matter how small or insignificant they may seem.  In my experience, in my doing so it helps to change your negative mindset into a positive one, and furthermore, it also helps to make you appreciate the little gifts that each day delivers.

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    Rewarding yourself: After a long day battling with symptoms such as pain, nausea, dizziness is a feat in itself! By planning to reward yourself, for getting through a difficult and stressful day, or for finishing a task despite dealing with debilitating symptoms it can help to give yourself something else to think about besides the symptoms currently being experienced.  Rewarding ourselves gives us something to look forward to despite the stresses of living with chronic illness. The reward does not need to be big or expensive; sometimes it’s finding pleasures in the little things in life.  My favourite reward?  A delicious bar of chocolate to savour at the end of the night!

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  • Listen to a favourite song and sing along!: Research has shown that listening to music that you like can actually alter your mood and alleviate feelings of depression.  Therefore, make your own ‘Feel Better’ playlist in your Mp3 player that includes songs that work for you and which lifts your mood.  Choose positive and uplifting songs that you can sing along to, such as the brilliant ‘Happy’ by Pharrell Williams.  It could really help change the outlook for the day!

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  • Honour yourself and your body: On these days, where we feel that we have no control, is the most important time to practice some self-care.  It is important to practice these rituals when we need it the most.  Nurture yourself by taking a warm bath, schedule a massage, cozy up with a book, or relax with a cup of tea and enjoy some quiet time.

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  • Smile!: Research has shown that in fact smiling really can turn a frown upside down.  When things seem bad smiling can actually make us feel more positive and happier about the situation, so let’s all try smiling!  And surround yourself with positive people and positive things – the positivity board that I have set up in my bedroom really does help when I am experiencing bad flares as a result of my condition.  It is a reminder that the negative situation is not permanent, it’s only temporary and as everything that is brief, it will soon pass.
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In Chronic Illness

HAWMC Day 14: Trying to take on the world…

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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based on given prompts.

Tuesday 14th April: “I feel best when…” 

Write about moments when you feel like you can take on the world.  Where, when and how often does this happen?

Again this is an extremely difficult prompt for me to answer.  For some time now, too long to remember when it started, but the symptoms have become much more severe and debilitating.  As well as the deterioration in the severity of the symptoms, the symptoms themselves over the years has become constant.

It now seems that I never get a respite from the symptoms such as the dizziness, trembling in the legs and pain.  Not all the symptoms, however, are constant, for instance, certain triggers provoke visual disturbances, and although these symptoms are not consistent, they still occur more than they used to.

Therefore, as I never get a break from living with the symptoms, every day can often feel like a struggle and can feel that I never feel my best and able to take on the world.

This is especially the case when going out after a restless night’s sleep due to pain, which has been the case for a few months.  Furthermore, as the trembling and dizziness are so bad, it is a struggle to be able to get out of the house, never mind finding the stamina to take on the world.

Living with symptoms which are constant can make it difficult to be able to take on the world
Living with symptoms which are constant can make it difficult to be able to take on the world

Although, I do find that when I am feeling at my worst due to the pain and trembling in my legs as well as the dizziness and I somehow find enough strength and determination to achieve something that I have struggled to do, such as going to a place that is difficult for me (e.g. retail stores which have high ceilings or a lot of fluorescent lights).

When I do, I suppose it is the closest I can feel to being able to take on the world; I experience a surge of confidence when I have been able to battle through the debilitating symptoms to achieve a goal.  I cannot remember when the last time it happened, but I can remember feeling so happy and proud of myself after managing to stay in a local Next store despite struggling to cope with severely trembling legs and horrendous dizziness.

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The symptoms were so severe that during the entire trip, I felt like I needed to get out of the store and go home.  However, despite how bad I felt, I fought through the symptoms and managed to stay in there, even long enough to queue and buy an item of clothing.  For me, at this time it was an immense achievement as there were many times when I was unable to go to the store due to my symptoms.

I also notice that when I can push through the symptoms and able to accomplish a goal, I am also able to do more and go to other places too.

Perhaps it is the little achievements that we as spoonies manage to carry out despite living with debilitating and continuous symptoms that can make us feel like we can take on the world.

 

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In Chronic Illness

Holding on and letting go…

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Living with a neurological can be difficult – at times, it can be bearable, with symptoms although always present, they are however manageable.

At other times, however, symptoms are out of control; life feels as if you are on a battlefield –  your condition and its symptoms are at war with your brain and the rest of your body.

[Tweet “When symptoms are out of control, it can feel you are at war with your body”]

During recent times, my experience living with a neurological condition has been the latter – with symptoms becoming out of control, and everything being a struggle.

I think that what has been particularly tricky recently is because all the symptoms that I experience are out of control all at once.  The dizziness has yet again been very severe, which has left me feeling incredibly nauseous a lot of the time.  And not forgetting the severe trembling and pain in the legs, oh and not ignoring the terrible fatigue; hampered by episodes of insomnia.

Of course, it is not pleasant when even one symptom is out of control but is at least a lot more manageable dealing with one such symptom than several symptoms at once.

So, how do we cope when our conditions are out of control?   How do we deal when we feel at war with your own body?

I have learned that often we need to hold on.  Hold on until it passes.

As I would like to believe all bad times, whether it be because of a neurological condition, another chronic illness, bereavement or even a break-up, passes with time; just as clouds pass over to reveal bright, beautiful sunshine.

I choose to hold on to hope – the hope that it will pass.

[Tweet “I have learned that often we need to hold on. Hold on until it passes.”]

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Choose Hope! My lovely badge from the wonderful Itty Bitty Book Company

But just as much as we need to hold on – hold on to the hope that it will get better; those symptoms will improve given time, we also need to let go.

To let go of everything that we cannot change.

As much as I realise that we should let go of the worry and sadness of things we cannot control; I understand that it is often easier said than done.  I admit that I find it difficult at times, and find myself getting upset with what I cannot do or find challenging as a result of the neurological condition.  However, I try my best to keep the negative thoughts to a minimum and attempt to see the silver lining in the particular situation (e.g., not being able to get out of bed).  I mean, who doesn’t love an excuse to have a PJ day and watch films all day?!) and accept that this is my reality.

[Tweet “We often need to accept the reality of our chronic illness and let go of things we cannot control.”]

There are certain aspects of my condition that I cannot control, such as the symptoms and the effects that these symptoms have on my life.  I do have control, however, on how I choose to deal with the condition.  It is not easy, however, especially when the symptoms are very severe. The way that I choose to deal with this illness is through my writing and sharing my experiences with others, volunteering for great causes, reading books, laughing and talking with friends, and watching my favourite films and television programmes.  Those are some of the activities that I do to make me happy and help me forget that I am a person living with a neurological condition as well as distracting myself from the symptoms that haunt my life every day if even it is for a short time.

[Tweet “There are aspects of chronic illness that we cannot control, but we can control how we deal with it.”]

So, to help me cope with living with a neurological condition, I both hold on and let go!  I hold onto the positives and let go of everything which I cannot control.  How do you cope with the bad times and dealing with a life-long illness? How do you hold on or let go when life is difficult?

 

 

 

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Living with illness…is like using a revolving door…

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revolving-door

Hello to all readers new and old

Sorry that I have not been able to write a post sooner but life has been pretty hectic!  Lately, fatigue has been a constant feature in my life, so much so, that the hours that I have with my personal assistant has been extended over two days instead of using all the designated hours in the one day.  Added to that, is a new group that I have recently joined as well possibly being involved with setting up a brand new group for young people with disabilities in my local area.

And then of course, has been my health.  As most of you reading this, also living with chronic illness, will know, that life can be like a revolving door – symptoms can be stable and manageable and then out of the blue, there is a deterioration of said symptoms and then find yourself navigating said revolving doors through to yet more doctors visits, hospital visits, more tests and so on.  New symptoms appear, an example being the recent introduction of vision loss can be worrisome and can also question whether doctors have given the correct diagnosis, or whether it is possible that your condition is deteriorating.  New symptoms are like being handed pieces of an uncompleted jigsaw puzzle and then having to cipher where these pieces fit in the bigger picture of your condition.

And after the initial consultation with your G.P can often, particularly if the new symptoms are unusual or worrisome, result in (again!) being referred to the specialty that is connected with the particular health condition.  For me, not only have I referred back to Neurology, but am also awaiting for an appointment to seen an ophthalmologist.  Waiting for hospital appointments, not only can be long and tiresome, but also leaves you on tenterhooks; especially when the mail arrives each day, wondering whether today is the day in which that all important appointment letter will arrive!

 

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That only then leaves the preparation for the actual appointment!  If I can offer any advice to any ‘spoonies’ out there, it would be this:

  • Make sure that you prepare for the appointment beforehand – if like, me you often find yourself remembering various information that you wished to discuss with your doctor AFTER the actual appointment, then it can be a really good idea to write a list of questions and points that you wish to discuss before your appointment.
  • You might wish to write down all the symptoms that you have experienced, I know from personal experience that I often forget to mention some of the symptoms that I have been experiencing
  • It can be quite unnerving attending hospitals; the often produce anxiety and fear, and often will forget some of the information that the doctor has given you, so it may be a good idea to ask a friend or family member to attend the appointment
  • Take a book, or something else to distract yourself from the anxiety, or even just to occupy the long wait in the waiting room

Any other tips that anyone has regarding attending hospital appointments?  Comment below and share them!!

 

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