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5 Ways To Find Self-Love When Chronically Ill

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Sheryl from A Chronic Voice, as well as sharing her own stories and lessons with chronic illness. Sheryl is an excellent support to other bloggers and writers living with illness and chronic pain. One such way is through monthly link-up parties whereby bloggers and writers share their stories through given prompts. For February 2020, I will use the prompts to discuss five ways in which we can use to find self-love when chronically ill.

After what felt like an incredibly long month, we finally find ourselves in February. February, a month that many regards as the ‘Month of Love’ as we look towards preparations for St. Valentine’s Day. A holiday that, for many, is exclusive for couples, as they those arrange to celebrate the person they love.

Sadly, however, we rarely take the time to celebrate ourselves. Often, we never take time to love ourselves; spending more time being hard on ourselves, or running ourselves down. Many even find it difficult to love themselves at all.

"We rarely take the time to celebrate ourselves. Often, we never take time to love ourselves; spending more time being hard on ourselves, or running ourselves down. Many even find it difficult to love themselves at all." Share on X
The most important relationship will always be the one you have with yourself, which is why self-love is so important especially when living with the demands of chronic illness.

It can be hard to feel self-love when in a constant battle with your body

It can be especially challenging to find love ourselves, for example, when living with chronic illness. Why is this?

Because when living with a chronic illness, self-esteem becomes heavily impacted. When constantly sick and in pain, we too are confronted with the many negative changes that our body undergoes. As a result, it can foster a deep hatred of our bodies. We find ourselves constantly exhausted when always on edge, waiting for the next imminent hurdle or setback.

"When constantly sick and in pain, we too are confronted with the many negative changes that our body undergoes. As a result, it can foster a deep hatred of our bodies, and ourselves." Share on X

We also find ourselves unable to do many of the things we used to do.   And forced to rely on others for help with often the simplest of things. So, we start to feel shame and guilt for succumbing to illness. And so not only do we not love ourselves, but it can also lead to feelings of self-hatred. 

RuPaul once famously said, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else.” Such profound words, but also begs the question of how we can love our life if we are unable to love ourselves first?

The above quote also begs the question on how we can love our life, especially one including a chronic illness if we are unable to love yourselves first?

So how can we start to work on self-love when living with the constant effects of chronic pain. Plus the many other symptoms that accompany life with chronic illness?

"How can we start to work on self-love when living with the constant effects of chronic pain. Plus the many other symptoms that accompany life with chronic illness?" Share on X

Way to Find Self Love When Chronically Ill: Don’t Go Looking To Comparing Yourself To Others

With the rise of social media, it is easier than ever to compare yourself to that of others. We are often our own worst enemy, as we pick ourselves apart, weighing ourselves and our achievements against others. As a consequence, we often feel that we fail to measure up to everyone else.

For those of us living with chronic illness, we are particularly susceptible to feeling low as well as feelings that we are ‘less than’ as we compare ourselves to others. As we look to our healthy peers, we think that we have failed to achieve as much as them. Or feelings of jealousy as we see them living without the limitations or obstacles that we continue to face every day. 

"For those of us living with chronic illness, we are particularly susceptible to feeling low as well as feelings that we are 'less than' as we compare ourselves to others." Share on X

But, they don’t live with the limitations that we do, so comparing ourselves against them is futile, leading to feelings of self-hatred and blame. Instead we need to learn to celebrate and embrace our lives, imperfections and all. There is only going to be one you, and that is always going to be enough and deserves celebrating!

Way to Find Self-Love When Chronically Ill: Playing The Gratitude Card

When living with a chronic illness, and with a body that is continuously hurting, it can be too easy to focus on everything that is wrong with our bodies. It becomes easy to see our bodies as a prison cell, with no escape, trapped inside hell.

It can seem, especially when blighted with unrelenting symptoms that things are constantly going wrong. And as consequence we fail to see or appreciate when things are going right.

If you struggle with gratitude, a journal to note down things that have gone right or for that which make you feel good despite constant pain and sickness can be a useful exercise. Photo by Freshh Connection on Unsplash.

It can be a useful exercise, therefore, to practice gratitude by keeping a journal for when things go right — or writing down the things that make you feel good despite chronic illness. It can also help reframe our criticism with our bodies with gratitude for its hard work in fighting illness.

"When practising gratitude, the act of self-love becomes second nature. It helps us to see the blessings around us, including ourselves." Share on X

When practising gratitude, the act of self-love becomes second nature. It helps us to see the blessings around us, including ourselves. And the thoughts we hold become less focused on criticism and self-doubt to love, kindness and acceptance towards ourselves despite the unrelenting force of chronic illness and its symptoms.

Way to Find Self-Love When Chronically Ill: Joining A New Club & Engaging With A Hobby or Interest

When living with persistent and debilitating symptoms, and never feeling well, it can be easy to succumb to the illness and begin to see that it is all we are. It is often all too easy to start to see the diagnosis as the sole defining factor of our identity.

But as we do so, confronted with the increasing number of losses, self-hatred and lack of purpose also grow. By taking up a new hobby, or engaging with previous hobbies and interests, it may help increase our self-confidence. They give us an identity outside that of chronic illness and gives us a new sense of purpose.

"By taking up a new hobby, or engaging with previous hobbies and interests, it may help increase our self-confidence. They give us an identity outside that of chronic illness and gives us a new sense of purpose." Share on X

It allows us the opportunity not to have our illness at the top of our minds, and to feel like everyone else. It gives us the gift of feeling like our peers. And it also allows us the fortuity to connect with like-minded individuals; the ability to connect with others. When spending so much time at home, often alone due to illness, it is easy to become isolated. But being with others and taking part in an activity, you all have an interest in helping foster a sense of belonging.

Joining a group or taking up a hobby allows us to make connections with other like-minded people, which also helps us to make us feel better about ourselves. Photo by Perry Grone on Unsplash.

Also, when developing a hobby, especially during hardships, it can help increase self-confidence by giving you a sense of accomplishment every time we progress on that hobby. And that new sense of achievement gives us something new to feel good about ourselves. It also reminds us of the abilities that we do still have, especially when it feels that chronic illness only takes away.

"Also, when developing a hobby, especially during hardships, it can help increase self-confidence by giving you a sense of accomplishment every time we progress, giving us something new to feel good about ourselves." Share on X

Way to Find Self-Love When Chronically Ill: Invigorating Body and Soul With Simple Acts of Self-Care

In recent times ‘self-care’ has become a fashionable buzzword conjuring images of luxurious spa days, or a shopping spree for example. Although such activities can be fun and rewarding, for those of us living with chronic illness are ones which we don’t have the energy or financial means to enjoy.

Self-care doesn’t have to include luxurious spa days; it can be as simple as taking a bath, or listening to our bodies and giving it what it needs. Photo by Luis Ruiz from Pexels.

But simple acts of self-care can be as rewarding. Actions such as taking a bath or shower, followed by using a favourite lotion. Or ensuring that we are drinking enough water during the day and nourishing our body with healthy and nutritious foods.

"Self-care is taking the time to listen to our bodies, and giving it what it needs at that moment. Doing what you can for your body to make yourself feel better." Share on X

Self-care is taking the time to listen to our bodies, and giving it what it needs at that moment. Doing what you can for your body to make yourself feel better. And doing so helps to restore the balance in your relationship with your body.

Way to Find Self-Love When Chronically Ill: Ditching Self-Blame

When living with a chronic illness, there is a strong temptation to self-blame. For those of us struggling with pain and sickness, it can feel the suffering is punishment for something we’ve done wrong or retribution for a deep character flaw. Or when illness flares, we may blame ourselves for the situation, as penance for overdoing it or not taking better care of ourselves.

"An essential path towards self-love is in learning to accept ourselves and our conditions. It also means yielding self-compassion when we are left unable to do anything and celebrating those times we can." Share on X

To combat falling into the spiral of self-blame is to replace it with self-love. An essential path towards self-love is in learning to accept ourselves and our conditions despite wishing things were different. It also means yielding self-compassion when we are left unable to do anything and celebrating those times we can.

After all, there is no benefit to self-blame and only leads to a hefty emotional tax to thinking this way.

So, how do you find your way towards self-love when living with a chronic illness?

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Balancing The Scales Between Guilt and Rest

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Sheryl from A Chronic Voice, as well as sharing her own stories and lessons with chronic illness. Sheryl is an excellent support to other bloggers and writers living with illness and chronic pain. One such way is through monthly link-up parties whereby bloggers and writers share their stories through given prompts. This month, I will be discussing the need to rest and the guilt that comes with needing to do so.

Balancing The Need to Rest And The Guilt For Needing To Do So

When living with a chronic illness, we do so in an attempt to balance our own set of balancing scales. And every day, we are faced with choices; choices that will inevitably tip the balance in favour of either ourselves or to the chronic illness itself. Every decision, every activity, every chore, and errand is strategically planned in the endeavor to stave off a flare. And to keep the scales tipped in our favour.

"When living with a chronic illness, we do so in an attempt to balance our own set of scales. Every day, we are faced with choices; choices that will tip the balance in favour of either ourselves or to the chronic illness itself." Share on X

Participating in self-care, and adopting strategic pacing techniques plays an essential part in ensuring the scales remain balanced. The problem, however, that although chronic illness plays a significant role in our lives, it is not the only part. Life does not stop or pause when during a flare; life goes on, and still, we have responsibilities that we need to satiate.

When living with chronic illness we often need to balance the need to rest with the guilt of needing to do so

Justifying Taking The Time For Rest

As such, it can be difficult justifying taking time to rest when there is so much that needs our time and attention. How can we justify the time for rest and recuperation when chores and errands require attention?

Often we feel that the severity of pain and the never-ending presence of other symptoms are enough justification for slowing down. For lounging around and taking it easy while attempting to wrangle and maintain control over seemingly uncontrollable symptoms. But as these quiet and sedentary days stretch on, as well as the current flare, a surge of guilt begins to rise.

"As the quiet and sedentary days stretch on, as well as the current flare, a surge of guilt begins to rise when needing to rest and take things easy." Share on X

Although taking the time for recuperation against the backdrop of a flare is essential to our health and well-being, the overwhelming guilt and recriminations still make it difficult to justify the need to ourselves when there are so many demands for our time and attention.

"The overwhelming guilt and recriminations still make it difficult to justify the need to ourselves when there are so many demands for our time and attention." Share on X

The Starting Symptoms Which Precede A Flare

There is a tendency to push through to complete errands regardless when symptoms start to become out of control. To stubbornly ignore the start of an oncoming flare and do more than our body can handle. But, doing so, however, only worsens these ‘starting‘ symptoms and thus exacerbates the approaching flare.

We should begin starting, to see these increased symptoms as warning signs. And to start to listen to what our body is telling us. To attend and rest or participate in self-care activities when we are in need to do so.

"We should begin starting to see these increased symptoms as warning signs. And to start to listen to what our body is telling us." Share on X

Illness And Pain: A Brutal Teacher

But how do we learn the subtle signals our bodies are telling us? Experience. As C.S. Lewis once wrote, “Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.” And there is no more a brutal teacher than pain and illness.

Experience: that brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.

As much as experiencing a flare is horrendous, each one can teach us about living with chronic illness. The experience of each flare enables us to analyse the symptoms and sensations that precede an attack allows us to learn when we need to stop and rest. And as such, when resting when needed, we can learn to lessen the impact of future exacerbations.

"The experience of each flare enables us to analyse the symptoms and sensations that precede an attack allows us to learn when we need to stop and rest." Share on X

It is not only the analysis of the signs and symptoms preceding an upcoming flare that can be useful. It can also be helpful analysing those behaviours and actions that help minimise the destructive impact they cause. For instance, having a relaxing, warm bath may help alleviate pain. Or watching a favourite film or TV show can help distract from the extremely bothersome symptoms that plague everyday life.

Analysing Pain and Symptoms And Concluding On How To Deal

Whatever it may be, by analysing the results of self-care behaviours, we can then determine what and what does not help when we are in a flare. Concluding, everything which does and does not help in reducing pain or the impact of other symptoms makes coping with such intense and debilitating flares more manageable. Furthermore, interpreting the signs and symptoms that precede a flare, we can use these to know when to rest in the future. It may not help stop a worsening, however, but doing so could help minimise the impact it would otherwise have had.

curled up in a foetal position because of pain
"Interpreting the signs and symptoms that precede a flare, we can use these to know when to rest in the future." Share on X

Experience and the ongoing analysis of the accompanying symptoms of chronic illness can also help us conclude when something is not right. After living with constant illness for so long, we become somewhat intimate with our body, and know when something more is going on and need medical intervention.

Planning On Moving Forward; Planning For Future Flares

And when we know that which helps us cope, both physically and emotional we can plan for the next flare. Planning enables us to prepare suitable contingency plans for when in need of rest and recuperation for our physical and emotional well-being. And it also allows the opportunity for planning a flare kit. A flare kit is one in which contains the essentials that help calm and please. Comforting items that help you to cope during a time of suffering.

"Planning enables us to prepare suitable contingency plans for when in need of rest and recuperation for our physical and emotional well-being." Share on X

After experiencing numerous flares over the years, I have learned the importance of planning rest. And planning for the next eventual flare. Because the only certainty when living with a chronic illness is that there will be another.

"I have learned the importance of planning rest and planning for the next eventual flare. Because the only certainty when living with a chronic illness is that there will be another." Share on X

And we must also learn to let go of the guilt when in need of resting. Chores and errands can always wait, but looking after our health and well-being should always be our priority.

Alternative Cover for Balancing The Scales Between Guilt and Rest
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How To Self-Care While On A ‘Deserted Island’

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WHAT IS SELF-CARE?

Self-care refers to the actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of well-being and health of the individual.

[Tweet “Self-care is the actions that contribute to the maintenance of health and well-being.”]

When living with a chronic illness, this includes taking prescribed medications, regularly exercising, eating healthily and attending appointments with your doctor.

As equally important is to maintain positive emotional health and well-being.  For me, what has helped cultivate a positive attitude is the development of a positivity board.

This positivity board consists of positive and inspiring quotes and favourite photographs.  And anything else which helps me remain positive and content despite the effects that living with a neurological disorder has on my life.  I have also made myself a comfort box.  A box containing items that bring me comfort and support when symptoms are remarkably severe.  By keeping this box next to my bed provides me the opportunity to self-care when I am unable to get out of bed.

How to Self-Care When Travelling With a Chronic Illness

However, how can we still participate in self-care when stuck on a deserted island.  I don’t mean a literal deserted island, but rather how can we take care of ourselves when away from our daily routines and everything else that provides comfort and safety while living with a chronic illness.

One such example is travelling.

Travelling when living with a chronic illness presents its own set of challenges regarding self-care. Being away from our usual routine and everyday life is difficult.

It’s this change and not knowing what to expect that can make it difficult when travelling with a chronic illness. It’s this change and not knowing what to expect which makes it’s difficult to anticipate, plan and manage our symptoms.  In my experience after four cruises, self-care can often be more difficult when on this type of holiday as when we begin to feel unwell we cannot just pop to the nearest store for the items which can help ease whichever symptoms decide to grace us with their presence. Which means, careful and considered packing before we leave on our adventures.

[Tweet “Travelling with a chronic illness presents its own set of challenges regarding self-care.”]

Go On An Adventure

So, how can we practice self-care while we are away?  How can we ensure that we enjoy our relaxing time away and not let our symptoms get in the way of having a good time?

BEFORE LEAVING

The first piece I would give to anyone wanting to travel while living with a chronic illness is to accept yourself for who you are today.  Recognise and accept the limitations that now exist, and assess your particular needs. Once you know them, then you can start planning around your new roadblocks to find a location and type of holiday that is best suited to your particular needs. For example, if you are planning a city break and you have difficulties with mobility then perhaps find a hotel located near the sights that you want to visit during your stay.

[Tweet “Knowing your limitations and needs make it easy to plan and find the holiday best suited to you.”]

I recently read an excellent article about travelling with a chronic illness. It recommended that before starting to pack is to keep a log of your daily activities to better prepare for your needs while away.  Note things like medications, equipment, and anything else that you might need to help look after yourself while away and especially if and when a flare in your symptoms occurs.  It might also be an idea to start packing a few weeks before your departure; this year, I admit I left some things until the last minute, and the packing left me feeling weak and fatigued.

[Tweet “To prepare for your self-care needs, keep a log of your daily activities before leaving. “]

And find the space to pack your essential self-care items such as books and magazines, a favourite pillow or cushion that you find comfortable if pain is an issue for example.  When I am in a lot of pain, I often find distraction the best way to cope, taking my mind away from the source of my discomfort with something such as a funny and heart-warming film.  As such, I always ensure that I pack my iPad loaded with my current favourite films and TV shows (with headphones as not to disturb my travel companions; useful when pain wakes you up in the middle of the night).  It can also be helpful on days confined to bed because of a sudden flare in the severity of the symptoms to entertain one’s self when everyone else is out enjoying their time in a new country.

smartphone entertainment and travelling

Hydration is also essential, even those not living with a chronic illness. Make sure to carry a water bottle and snacks in your carry-on luggage in case of delays in the airport.  Dehydration and exposure to the sun both can exacerbate fatigue. To avoid this, drink plenty and limit your time in the sun.

Meditation is also very useful in helping ease the burden of symptoms when they are a nuisance.  There are plenty of apps available for smartphones or tablets that focus on meditation and mindfulness.  The exercises can be done anywhere – even busy airports and they are excellent at settling the mind and reduce stress.  If you find travel difficult and stressful, then perhaps investing in an app like this might be beneficial.

[Tweet “Meditation apps are beneficial for settling the mind and reducing stress – and can be done anywhere!”]

DURING THE HOLIDAY

When sampling a new country, we want to do and see everything it has to offer.  We want to push through symptoms like pain, so we don’t miss out on anything.  But by doing so may not be the smartest move as it may exacerbate then even more.  So take a break.  Perhaps limit your activity to only doing one fun thing a day, giving you the opportunity to rest for the remainder of the day.

[Tweet “Pushing through symptoms so we don’t miss out is not smart and may exacerbate them further.”]

If planning energy-consuming activities alternate your days.  For example, have an active day followed by a day of rest.  Doing this will allow your body time to recover and eliminate the stress and disappointment of potentially missing activities.

[Tweet “To eliminate disappointment of missing out alternate your days between active days and rest days.”]

Travel is good for the soul

And this doesn’t have to mean lying in your room while everyone else is having fun.  Book a spa day as an alternative.  Or treat yourself to a day next to the pool with a good book.

During my recent time away, I experienced a day filled with excruciating pain.  Instead of wallowing in self-pity and misery I phoned my best friend as a distraction from the pain.  I found this useful and made my day brighter.  Perhaps you can think about having your person standby in case you need them.

But perhaps the most beneficial part of self-care for anyone is sleep! So try and get a good night’s sleep and nap whenever you feel like you need it. Sleep is perhaps the best form of self-care there is.

[Tweet “Sleep is the best form of self-care there is!”]

COMING HOME

In my experience, travelling can be extremely taxing.  Take a few free days to allow yourself to settle back into your routine and allow your body to recover. Spend the time to pamper yourself and catch up on your favourite TV programmes. Or reminisce while flicking through your photographs from your incredible trip.

Oh, and plenty of sleep, trust me your body will thank you for it!

[Tweet “Allow some free days after returning from your travels to allow your body to recover.”]

And most of all – congratulate yourself! You made it outside of your safe comfort zone. Not allowing the baggage that you carry because of chronic illness from stopping you from seeing the world.  And no letting chronic illness rob you of the excitement and enjoyment that travel offers!

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The Benefits of a Spa Day for Those With Chronic Illness

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After Mum and I enjoyed a spa break for my 30th birthday, we decided that whenever we had time, we would book a spa day for us both.  Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, we have been unable to enjoy a spa day together for almost a year. But with my impending birthday, we thought that it was time for some much-needed R and R.

Excitement and anticipation soon start after phoning our local spa, for a day pass. The pass includes one of their luxurious treatments and a heap of other benefits. Benefits which include full use of the spa and leisure facilities, two-course lunch buffet and complimentary towel, robe and slippers.

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A spa day is a lovely and relaxing treat for anybody, but especially those with a chronic illness

A relaxing spa day is a sublime treat for both myself and the person with whom I’m going. And provides something to look forward to beyond the daily life of managing unpleasant symptoms like chronic pain.

A spa day is something to look forward to beyond the daily life of managing unpleasant symptoms like chronic pain. Share on X

However, not only is a spa day something lovely to look forward to. But as someone living with chronic illness, I have found that I benefit immensely from it.

And I think a spa day would be beneficial for those living with chronic illness; and here are some of the reasons why:

A SPA DAY ALLOWS YOU TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH LOVED ONES

Before my symptoms became disabling, my Mum and I loved nothing better than to travel to Cardiff. To spend the day together for some retail therapy, and perhaps even take the opportunity to eat out.

However, now as my mobility has worsened, my legs so weak that they give way easily and with no warning.  These days out together are no longer possible, not only because of the debilitating physical symptoms but also due to energy limitations.  I just don’t have the energy to do these type of high-energy activities anymore.  Not without paying a hefty price afterwards. Punishments such as a significant increase in the severity of the symptoms I already have to endure.

Like many of us living with chronic illness, it means that I often have to miss out on social gatherings. Something that is one of the most upsetting and frustrating things about living with a long-term health condition.  However, a spa day allows you to spend quality time with a friend or loved one. One that is thoroughly relaxing and low-energy, perfect for those of us with chronic illness

A spa day is thoroughly relaxing and low-energy, perfect for those of us with chronic illness. Share on X

SPA DAY: BEING ABLE TO UNWIND, DESTRESS AND INDULGE IN SELF-CARE

Like many others living with chronic illness, the condition and its constant and unrelenting symptoms cause me stress.  And never more so when I am experiencing a severe flare, much as I have done recently.  By going on a spa day, however, gave me the opportunity to escape the day-to-day stresses of living with chronic illness. Providing an opportunity to unwind and relax.  As all of us are aware, stress can often exacerbate our symptoms; by going on a spa day, it allows you the opportunity to focus on you and your needs.

A photo of the Relaxation Zone at the Vale Spa in South Wales

Like osmosis, the calm and relaxing atmosphere of the spa itself seeps into my body making me calm and relaxed despite any pain or discomfort I’m experiencing.  Hell, I become so relaxed that I end up catching on any missed sleep in one of the Relaxation Zones. Bliss!

By going on a spa day, it allows you the opportunity to focus on you and your needs Share on X

THE TREATMENTS ON OFFER ON A SPA DAY CAN HELP REDUCE CHRONIC PAIN 

There are a variety of treatments and massages on offer in spas like the one I frequent.  For those who can tolerate touch, as some suffering from allodynia would not benefit from such treatments.  One of my favourite treatments is the aromatherapy massage. But a hot stone massage may also be beneficial for those suffering from chronic pain. Research has found that the therapy eases muscle stiffness, increases circulation and metabolism. It also increases blood flow throughout the body as the hot stones help to expand blood vessels.

Furthermore, massages have also been found to release the same ‘feel-good’ endorphins that you get from working out.  The release of endorphins acts as a natural pain reliever.  The more your body produces these endorphins, the quicker it learns how to release them.  Therefore, regular massage therapy helps to stop the buildup of toxic blockages that hinder the flow of oxygen around the body causing pain and inflammation and to also help the body’s response to it.

spa-day-massage

An aromatherapy massage as well as having the same benefits as listed above is also said to ease headaches, improve sleeping problems, lowers feeling of anxiety and improves mood.  The practitioner can tailor the aromatherapy oils depending on you and your symptoms.  During a previous massage, peppermint oil was used on my body, including my stomach. I found that this really helped ease nausea I experience as a side effect of the medications that I take.

I also love having a facial, which is just as relaxing as any of the other treatments already mentioned. Afterwards, my skin is glowing making me look healthy and radiant. A natural healthy glow instead of the pale and unhealthy complexion which has become my norm. And when I look good, I also feel good.

THE HEALTH BENEFITS OF THE OTHER FACILITIES ON OFFER 

As well as delivering ultimate pampering treatments, most spas also have jacuzzis, saunas, and steam rooms to use during your stay.  Jacuzzi’s are excellent for those like myself who suffer from neurological conditions. The warm water decreases joint stiffness, normalises muscle tone, as well as promoting muscle relaxation all helping to relieve pain. I love spending time in the spa’s jacuzzi, and feel relaxed and rejuvenated doing so. And experiencing a reduction in the amount of pain I am experiencing.  I find it so beneficial that it’s difficult getting me out of there!

jacuzzi-whirlpool-spa
There are plenty of benefits for using jacuzzi’s and steam room, both popular in spa resorts

There are also many benefits of using saunas and steam rooms.  Saunas, for example, are great for detox, as sweating is one of the best ways to remove toxins from the body.

Saunas and steam rooms are although not suitable if suffering from heat intolerance which many suffering from neurological conditions do.  However, even a few minutes in the steam room or sauna can be beneficial. In addition to detoxing, they may also help to reduce inflammation and pain.

sauna-spa

Furthermore, it’s important to reiterate that spending time in hot water and facilities such and saunas and steam rooms can be as good as exercise.  Great news for those who find exercise difficult because of their condition. But it is still important to pace yourself especially for those who struggle with fatigue.  Also, if you have a high blood pressure than you need to consult a medical professional as it may be unsuitable.

A SPA DAY: NO PRESSURES AND A DAY OF NORMALITY 

We all have pressures in our lives whether it comes from work, family, or friends.  When living with chronic illness, we may often feel pressure to do things that we might not feel physically able to do, others not understanding why we can’t because we look healthy on the outside.  Them not understanding how we can still be in pain, or feel so fatigued.

A significant advantage of a spa day is that there are no pressures from others or any need to places any burden on ourselves to do this or that because we feel we should be doing something than resting and looking ourselves. On these days, there is nothing to do but care for ourselves, listen to our bodies and instead do what we need to for us.  A day not continually checking social media, and worrying about what is going on around us.  A day just for us.

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A DAY IN WHICH THE LIMITATIONS OF CHRONIC ILLNESS DO NOT DEFINE ME

At the spa, I feel completely safe and at ease in the environment, which is not always the case because of my neurological condition.  But there, I can take everything at my own pace, even being left alone in one of the relaxation areas while my companion goes to another part to do what they want. It’s, in fact, a spa day is one in which I almost feel ‘normal,’ a day which I am not defined by the limitations of my condition. A day with no ‘I can’t’ and being stopped by the symptoms that I endure because of said condition.  All there is to do is lie back, relax and enjoy!

…I almost feel 'normal, a day which I am not defined by the limitations of my condition. Share on X

There are just a few of the many reasons why a spa day can benefit for those living with chronic illness.  I always come away feeling tired, but still incredibly relaxed, happy and even in less pain.

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My local spa has become a ‘happy place’ to me

I definitely feel and enjoy the benefits of a spa day and would recommend it to anyone.  Plus, it provides a fun and relaxed day out. One that I can actually enjoy and feel comfortable in my surroundings, and allows me time to spend with Mum away from home. I cannot wait until our next day whenever that will be!

Have you tried a spa day?  What did you think?

Let me know in the comment box below or let me know via social media!

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Self-Care & Happy Distractions

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Living with a long-term health condition is hard.  Every day seems the same with juggling the ordinary daily tasks of life with the many symptoms and other effects that chronic illness imposes on our body.  There are so many demands on our bodies, which is why self-care is so critical to our overall well-being.

Self -care can take many forms.  Relaxing, participating in a favourite activity or hobby or just taking time out to enjoy a luxurious bubble bath are some ways which we can take time for ourselves to rest and unwind from the stresses of life with chronic illness.  And self-care is also important to help elevate your mood and provide a little light and happiness from the darkness that chronic illness can sometimes create. sunblock-skincare-healthy-skin-heart-161608.jpg
I’m writing about a special brand collaboration, which I thought would be beneficial for those like me, living with a chronic illness and finding that it has an adverse impact on their mental health, suffering from stress, anxiety or depression alongside their physical health problems.

The brand in question is called The Distraction Box, started by the lovely Rachael and Samantha.  I did a little Q and A with Rachael, one of the founders behind The Distraction Box about the inspiration behind the company and about self-care.
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  1. Hi Rachael, Why don’t you start by telling us a little bit about yourselves and your business The Distraction Box
    Distraction Box was founded by two female business women, Rachael and Sam.  Rachael was forced to leave her high-flying career in Marketing due to health challenges.  After major spinal surgery, serious complications and a subsequent diagnosis of a further two nasty chronic illnesses, Rachael’s life changed dramatically overnight.  Rachael has to work really hard on her health to participate in life – including her emotional health.  That’s where the business idea came from – passion and personal learnings.
    Sam is a Dr of Physiology who has a particular interest in the effects of stress on our physical health.  Sam has also had to live with depression since the age of 17 so also had to work hard on her emotional health. Both founders share a passion for emotional well-being so we thought we’d make a great team!We launched the business in October 2016 and position ourselves as a well-being subscription box for the mind.  We also have one-off boxes which are great for gifts for loved ones going through hard times.   Our subscription packages are available for those who want to invest in their emotional well-being on a regular basis.  We encourage people to invest in their emotional health and not just their physical health.  We have a monthly, 3 monthly and 6 monthly subscription packages and each can be cancelled at any time and very easily.
  2. Where did the inspiration for The Distraction Box come from?  It’s a great name!  How did you decide upon it?
    I used to be an athlete and had the belief that you could do anything in life, as long as you were prepared to work hard enough, and if your heart desired it.  Then, 6 years ago I had a major health challenge that changed my life.  In a nutshell, I suddenly had physical limitations that meant I had to change my life completely and found myself not being able to do ‘what I wanted when I wanted.’This affected my emotional well-being, and I was struggling to cope with grieving my old self, and the frustrations with my new life.  Thankfully I was offered counselling to help me with my emotions – and I found the courage to embrace it.  This was the start of my journey with coming to terms and accepting what life has thrown at me, and even changing my mindset to help.  During that journey, I joined a health group which focused around teaching people how to live with chronic illness.One of the tools I was taught was how to create distractions from physical pain and/or the emotions that come with living with an illness that affects your everyday.  I created my own Distraction Box filled with items that comforted me, helped ease physical symptoms, or simply cheered me up when I was struggling to remain positive.  I love creating my own Happy Distractions and felt that more of us should create them in our everyday lives.  We all face stress and pressure, but not enough of us take the time to ‘switch off’ or manage overwhelming emotions in a positive way.
  3. How do you decide on the products you select for the boxes?  What are your favourite products that have been inside your lovely boxes?
    Both of the founders spend a lot of time researching the right products that we feel would create happy distractions.  We can’t pick many favourites as we love them all (or they wouldn’t be in the box).  However, we love JustBe Botanicals, Re-Mind notepads and the slate heart of self-love which was featured in our February box.
  4. Self-care is a big deal within the chronic illness community.  What are your favourite ways to relax and unwind?
    I have too many ways! I can’t say a specific favourite, but I do love water.  I’d say visiting the pool – even if it’s for a float to take the edge off my pain, or to go for a swim and build strength, I love it.  I have regular hot baths too and have different bath bombs and oils depending on what mood I’m in.  I also meditate once a day if I can – I love finding out where my mind will take me that day!
  5. What do you hope to achieve with The Distraction Box? We hope to spread a little happiness across the UK and beyond, but with an important message; emotional well-being is just as important as physical health.  Working on the mind is a strength and not a weakness – we are so passionate about that.On a practical note, we are hoping the boxes will raise enough money to set up ‘talkitout’ which will change the way the UK view talking therapy.  Watch this space…

I was sent a box for myself to unveil and review for the blog.

The Distraction Box for March was based on the theme ‘Hibernation to Happiness’ which was essentially all about stepping out of the hibernation period of winter and into the lighter, brighter days of spring. 

The box arrived after a long night of insomnia as a result of chronic pain, so just receiving the box was enough to cheer me up.  Upon opening the box, I was greeted with a little green parcel which contained all of the month’s goodies.

It was beautifully packaged and wrapped with care which made me appreciate receiving it even more.  It felt special like having received a special gift for Christmas or a birthday.  With the goodies was also a little booklet which outlined the theme for the month and a description of all the goodies contained in the month’s subscription box.

One of the first things that I noticed after opening the box was a gorgeous citrus scent from the Beefayre ‘Bee Happy’ Tea Lights that are scented with orange and jasmine essential oils.  It immediately lifted my mood and helped me to relax despite feeling uptight after a night dealing with pain.

One of my favourite ways to relax and unwind in the nights is to read or watch something on my iPad while I light a scented candle and so I really loved receiving these.  And they are natural which is a bonus!
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I have previously mentioned that the recent popular craze of adult colouring is also becoming a favourite form of self-care for me when I am feeling anxious or just need to distract my mind from the all-consuming symptoms.  So, I was ecstatic to receive a mini Mindful Colouring Pad with colouring pencils! They are sweet, and the best thing is that both the colouring pad and pencils are pocket sized – perfect for slipping into a coat pocket or handbag to take out on trips, such as hospital appointments so you can take a little time out from your thoughts or anxiety.
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Also, in the box was Birchall’s Green Tea and Peach Infusion Tea Bags and the BakedIn Gluten-Free Mug Brownie Mix, both ideal for those who are health conscious and want to look after their physical well-being as well as their emotional health.  I’m not gluten intolerant myself, but again the thought of Rachael and Sam for those who may have such intolerances really shows their understanding of such concerns within the chronic illness community.

I love writing handwritten letters to friends or other special people in my life.  And I also love to receive handwritten letters, in my opinion there is nothing better than to receive a thoughtful handwritten letter in the mail and which feel a lot more personal than an email or text message.  Which is one of the reasons why I participate in a project called Spoonie Post whereby every month you send a letter or card to a fellow chronic illness warrior to say hello or to cheer them up during difficult times.  In this month’s box was two cards with envelopes which I will be able to use for this project and brighten someone’s day!
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And finally, and probably my favourite item from this gorgeous and positive box was the Happy Mug (perfect to enjoy the green tea and peach in).  With simple colours, and finished with a rose gold detail it has a beautifully inspiring and positive quote that we should all aspire to every day.  I’m not a big hot drink fan, but I am sure that I will enjoy using this mug during times of self-care in the future.
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I loved this subscription box, and all the little goodies were perfect for taking the time to invest in my emotional well-being and for anyone else also living with the effects of a long-term health condition.  I know in the US and Canada various companies have subscription boxes specifically for those with chronic illnesses, but nothing similar here in the UK  (although The Distraction Box does ship worldwide).  However, I think The Distraction Box has this niche market in the bag and would definitely invest in a box in the future during a bad flare or maybe even buying it as a gift for someone going through a difficult time.

If you would like to try out a one-off Distraction Box or are willing to invest in your emotional well-being and sign up for a monthly subscription for a Distraction Box, then go and visit their website and use my code ‘brainlesionandme’ for a 10% off your first box/subscription and enjoy the benefits of their take on self-care for yourself.
And let us take a look at your enjoyment of your own Distraction Box by using the tag #HappyDistractions!

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