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Winter can be hard for those living with chronic illness and chronic pain. But even despite this, however, there are still many reasons for loving winter.

What Immediately Comes to Mind When You Think of Winter?

When imagining winter, which words or images are conjured up in your mind?

For many, they would answer with images such as the nights drawing in during the early evening. Heavy rain lashing against the windows. The sounds of the howling wind outside and fighting against the constant outbreaks of colds and flu.

This myriad of some of the images synonymous with winter paints a pretty miserable picture. Especially when juxtaposed with images of summer such as the bright, warm sunshine, colourful and vibrant flowers and so on.

"Images synonymous with winters such as heavy rain lashing against windows and the sounds of the howling wind outside paints a pretty miserable picture. Winter is indeed the cruellest and relentless of the seasons." Share on X

Winter is a time to dread. Summer a time where everything feels alive and happy and time of endless possibilities.  Winter is indeed the cruellest and relentless of the seasons.

It is only the start of the autumn and winter seasons, and already, I have heard many people complaining and griping because of the cold, wet weather.

The Unrelenting Horror of Winter When Living With Chronic Pain

For those suffering from chronic pain, winter can be a challenging time. The freezing temperatures can exponentially increase the amount of pain experienced, for example.

"For those suffering from chronic pain, winter can be a challenging time. The freezing temperatures can exponentially increase the amount of pain experienced, for example." Share on X

In my experience of living with spastic paraparesis (causing stiffness and weakness in the legs) the bitter cold weather and the constant downpour of rain increase the level of rigidity and instability that I experience, thereby increasing my pain levels.

During previous years increased levels of pain, stiffness, and weakness has left me reliant on my wheelchair for the majority of the time when out of the house.

Winter weather can often exacerbate symptoms especially pain
Winter weather can often exacerbate symptoms especially pain

There are steps that I, and others living with a chronic illness and chronic pain during the winter months.  These can include wearing thermals underneath warm clothing to lessen the effects of the cold temperatures on our chronic pain.  Hot water bottles, warm blankets, and snuggly pyjamas are also fantastic at helping us keep warm.  These steps can help us with the physical pain associated with our long-term conditions. However, they do not lessen the emotional impact that winter has on our psychological well-being.

"Steps can be undertaken to help with the physical pain associated with our long-term conditions. However, they do not lessen the emotional impact that winter has on our psychological well-being." Share on X

The Emotional Impact of Winter on Emotional Well-Being

Many people experience some form of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) a kind of depression associated with reduced exposure to sunlight.  Light therapy involves sitting in front or beneath a lightbox. As well as more conventional treatments for depression, including cognitive behavioural therapy and sometimes antidepressants can help ease the symptoms of SAD.

Winter can be a miserable time for many...and not a good time for those with chronic illness
Winter can be a miserable time for many and not a good time for those with chronic illness – Pinterest

I have talked about positive psychology before regarding helping cope with living with a long-term health condition.

One example of an exercise within the field of positive psychology is keeping a gratitude journal.

A gratitude journal encourages individuals to write down at least three things that have made them happy on that day.

Research suggests that by doing this, it can change the brain’s thought processes. It can even result in more favourable thinking patterns.  Therefore, to be more positive and happier during the winter months, perhaps we need to remind ourselves of the reasons to love winter.

"To be more positive and happier during the winter months, perhaps we need to remind ourselves of the reasons to love winter." Share on X

Why Should We Start Loving Winter, Then?

So what are some of the reasons we should love winter?

Reasons For Loving Winter: The Opportunity to Stay Indoors Without Judgement or Provocation

The cold and wet weather during the winter months provides the ideal opportunity to stay indoors. One that is the same for most people regardless of whether they live with a chronic illness or not.  When I tell others I want to stay indoors; there is disbelief on their faces during the summer months.

I am barraged with well-meaning encouragement to venture outside, supposedly an apparent cure for all my ills.  In the winter, on the other hand, others do not comment on my love of staying indoors. Let’s face it everybody wants nothing more than to snuggle beneath a blanket and enjoy a box-set binge when the bad weather hits.

"In the winter, others do not comment on my love of staying indoors. Let's face it everybody wants nothing more than to snuggle beneath a blanket and enjoy a box-set binge when the bad weather hits." Share on X

As well as being not judged for spending so much time indoors, I also feel that I am not going to feel envious or that I have missed out on anything fun.  Friends and family are also spending the majority of the time at home, choosing to stay in and binge the new series of TV programmes that tend to start when the weather begins to deteriorate.  Recently some of my favourite television programmes have returned to the Autumn schedule, such as Grey’s Anatomy and Criminal Minds.

Nothing more enjoyable than wrapping up warm during the cold winter weather or sit in front of a fireplace (if able)
Nothing more enjoyable than wrapping up warm during the cold winter weather or sit in front of a fireplace (if able) – Pinterest

Reasons For Loving Winter: Comfort, Blankets and Netflix!

Winter provides us with the perfect excuse to stay indoors and curl up with a blanket and a mug of hot chocolate.  It furthermore provides us with the ideal opportunity to enjoy an exciting book; or watch a film that you might never have otherwise watched via Netflix.  In other words, winter can provide us with the unique opportunity to bask in the enjoyment of being able to appreciate the little things that give us comfort and joy while also protecting ourselves from the atrocious weather.  Whereas summer is all about the fast pace and cramming as much fun in as possible, winter allows us to savour each moment.

A mug of hot chocolate is so comforting during winter - always make time when out shopping!
A mug of hot chocolate is so comforting during winter – always make time when out shopping!
"Winter can provide us with the unique opportunity to bask in the enjoyment of being able to appreciate the little things that give us comfort and joy while also protecting ourselves from the atrocious weather."   Share on X

I also love going to bed during the winter months and getting beneath my delectably thick winter duvet.  For me, this duvet is comforting, especially when feeling the effects of chronic illness.  Our winter wardrobes are also another enjoyable aspect of enjoying the cold and dreary months. To feel snuggly and safe beneath layers of warm layers of clothing such as big thick jumpers, woolly scarves and hats and thick socks when venturing outdoors.

I own a pair of Ugg boots which I continuously wear through the autumn and winter. They are so comfortable and also keep my feet incredibly warm. These boots are among my favourites and which people often comment on when out, which makes me feel good about myself.

My ever so warm and snuggly ugg boots!!
My ever so warm and snuggly ugg boots!!

Reasons For Loving Winter: The Delicious and Comforting Food and Drinks on Offer

A further reason to love winter is the food! Winter food provides comfort during the cold months. Mince pies, apple pies, pumpkin pies and other seasonal treats that appear in the supermarkets. Winter vegetables can be roasted or used as ingredients for bowls of steaming soups or even baked into delectable pies.

"Winter food provides comfort during the cold months. Winter vegetables can be roasted or used as ingredients for bowls of steaming soups or even baked into delectable pies." Share on X

Chilly evenings also provides the perfect pretext to enjoy a steaming mug of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and marshmallows or sprinkles of cocoa powder. And if the weather is keeping you indoors, there is plenty of time to put everything you have learned from The Great British Bake Off into practice. Assembling a gingerbread house or experimenting with the abundance of seasonal recipes that you have always wanted to try but never found the time.

Reasons For Loving Winter: Halloween, Bonfire Night and Christmas!

Lastly, the most important reason to love the winter season is all the exciting events that occur during this time. Halloween, Bonfire Night and everyone’s favourite Christmas! These events provide excitement and wonder and the opportunity to come together with those whom we may not have seen for some time. It is hard to dislike Bonfire Night, as beautiful, colourful and vibrant lights are seen decorating the night skies.

"Halloween, Bonfire Night and Christmas provides excitement and wonder and the opportunity to come together with those whom we may not have seen for some time." Share on X

Even if we are too unwell to attend a local fireworks display, it does not mean that we have to miss out. We can still enjoy the firework from the comfort of our own homes, which I often do.

Doesn't everything look pretty and magical with fairy lights during the winter months?
Doesn’t everything look pretty and magical with fairy lights during the winter months? – Pinterest

Throughout November and December hangs the air of excitement and wonder as Christmas approaches.  Houses, shops, and town centres illuminated with colourful lights and vibrant decorations which are beautiful and cheery against the dark and dreary winter nights. 

"December hang the air of excitement as Christmas approaches.  Houses, shops, and town centres illuminated with colourful lights and vibrant decorations which are beautiful and cheery against the dark and dreary winter nights."  Share on X

Furthermore, with Christmas also brings a collection of beautiful food, heart-warming and cheerful family films. Television specials, festive events and activities, happy festive music as well as time spent with loved ones exchanging presents.

It is true that Christmas also brings a lot of activities that can deplete the number of limited spoons. Still, in my opinion, it is worth it for the happiness and the formation of happy memories that Christmas brings.

What are your reasons for loving winter?  You can contact me via Twitter using @serenebutterfly or sending me an email at brainlesionandme@gmail.com.  

Or comment below.

Sorry for the recent lack of updates on the blog.  Despite still being active on my social media sites, I, however, have struggled to find the time or energy to write a post for the blog.  I had been experiencing good days during the last posts that I published. Still, unfortunately, as many of you living with a chronic illness will relate to, these good days do not last, and so my health has slowly regressed back and therefore bad days have replaced the good days. And days where life has been anything but a fairy tale.

Finding Solace and Comfort in Films

But, I have found time to watch films that I had wanted to see for some time.

I cried during ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ and enthralled with ‘Maleficent.’

Captivated by the story of the villain depicted in the classic Disney film ‘Sleeping Beauty’ and even more so by the enchanting performance by Angelina Jolie.

A beautiful image of the Cinderella Castle in Magic Kingdom but as experience teaches us, life is anything but a fairy tale

And I was particularly impressed by how Maleficent was not merely a retelling of the fairytale Sleeping Beauty.

Don’t get me wrong, I love fairy tales, my favourite being Beauty and the Beast, but let’s face it, they are all highly unrealistic.

They portray everything as being black or white, or characters being either good or evil.

What I loved about Maleficent, therefore, was the portrayal of the eponymous character as being both good and evil.  Unlike classic fairy tales, the story of Maleficent portrayed various shades of grey.

My Movies TV Google Play
My Movies TV Google Play2

Fairytales: A Metaphor of Life With Chronic Illness?

It then got me thinking of life with chronic illness.

If we were in a fairy tale, our illnesses would play the character of an evil beast.  Illness becoming the role of a villain, much like Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty or Ursula from The Little Mermaid.

Our lives would be darkened and ruined by the beast that is inside of us.

Every day would be bad with no room for happiness, sunshine or joy.

However, just as real life is not merely black and white; I choose to believe that the experience of living with a chronic illness is more like the portrayal of Maleficent; no one thing is purely good or evil.

But life, and especially life with a chronic illness, is anything but a fairy tale.

Chronic Illness: A Hero Or A Villain?

I believe that even living with something as tricky as a chronic illness; there are a lot of different shades of grey.

There are good times despite living with chronic illness, even though the ‘sick’ days heavily outweigh the good ones.

"There are good times…even though the 'sick' days heavily outweigh the good ones." Share on X

I also choose to believe that chronic illness can be both a hero and a villain, much like Maleficent.

It may sound strange to describe a chronic illness as a hero. Many would not think of such a title given the severe and debilitating symptoms we have to live with because of it.

However, chronic illness can also have a positive impact on our lives. It can teach us things about ourselves that we might never have known.

Chronic illness can also give us the strength and resilience to overcome many obstacles and limitations that our conditions create.

Furthermore, we can also become more empathetic and understanding as a result of our struggles with illness.

The Lessons That Chronic Illness Can Teach Us

Living with a long-term health condition can teach us some invaluable life lessons. Ones that we may never have learned if it wasn’t for illness. Such as the importance of learning to slow down and learning to appreciate the small things in life.

The severe and debilitating symptoms of chronic illness is the predominant reason that it plays the role of villain in our lives. But the lessons it teaches us proves that it can also play the role of a heroine.

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Classic fairy tales have stereotypically portrayed us, females, as rather feeble and fragile. And in of rescuing by a handsome and athletic Prince

Modern Disney films, such as Mulan and Frozen, for example, have shattered these archetypes. They have shown that females have the strength and power to rescue themselves from the trials and tribulations that life has thrown at them.

My experience of living with a neurological condition has taught me of our abilities to rescue ourselves from our battles in whatever form that they take.  Doctors, medications and other treatments for me and many others can only do so much.  It is often down to us as individuals to self-manage our conditions. As well as finding little ways to help ease our symptoms or that which makes us feel better emotionally.

"Chronic illness has taught me we all have the power to rescue ourselves from our battles." Share on X

It is up to us to save ourselves from the depression and emotional pain that can result from living with a long-term chronic illness.

It is our responsibility to make sure we are happy and live the best life we can, regardless of the limitations upon us due to chronic illness.

Life Is Anything But A Fairy Tale

Classic fairy tales and Disney films are renowned for their ‘happily ever after’ and as we are all aware, in real-life, and especially a life with chronic illness happily ever after merely does not exist. Life being anything other than a fairy tale.

"There are no happy ever after's with chronic illness…but it does not mean that we cannot be happy." Share on X

It does not mean that we cannot be happy.

However, we need to find our idea of happiness, whatever that may entail.

Happy endings can be difficult to find as a result of chronic illness, but I would like to think that they do exist, but perhaps it means that we have to look that little bit more to find the rainbow through our storms.

Happy endings can be found despite chronic illness but life is still anything but a fairy tale
Happy endings can still be found despite chronic illness!

Dizziness.  Giddiness. Vertigo.  Lightheadedness.  Wooziness.  Disequilibrium.  Unsteadiness.  Faintness.

Whatever word you choose to describe it, dizziness is defined as “having or involving a sensation of spinning around and losing one’s balance.”

It is also a symptom that I have lived with since early childhood.  The reasons for the dizziness is as a result of my neurological condition; a long-standing brain stem lesion.  Although we know the cause of the dizziness, we are unsure of the reason why the dizziness and vertigo occurs, and what it worse we have no way to treat or cure this very life-limiting symptom.  In the past I have tried various medications as well as undertaking vestibular rehabilitation exercises but unfortunately nothing has worked in even decreasing the severity of the moving sensations that I have to live with twenty-four seven every day.

Dizziness is not just an unpleasant symptom; it is also one which is life-limiting (Click to Tweet)

Dizziness can send you into a spin
Dizziness can send you into a spin

This condition and the symptoms, such as the dizziness has changed me.  It has also affected every part of my life.

Dizziness has not only changed me but it also affects every part of my life (Click to Tweet)

I cannot stand without feeling my body swaying due to the balance problems that the dizziness and vertigo causes; I find it difficult to be able to leave the house on my own due to the disorientation that dizziness and vertigo can cause.  Some days that I am so dizzy and the spinning is so extreme that I am unable to get out of bed.

Through this whole experience and after living with dizziness for so long, I have come to learn how little dizziness and vertigo is understood within the medical community.  According to some online resources, dizziness is one of the most difficult complaints to assess because it is a subjective sensation with many differing descriptions of the experience.  Furthermore, doctors are also unable to directly and objectively measure dizziness.  And mirroring my own experiences, patients complaining of dizziness and vertigo will see a number of different specialists, as dizziness and vertigo can be caused by a multitude of different pathophysiological processes, thereby making diagnosis particularly difficult.

As a result of it not being understood within the medical community, it is therefore also not understood within the wider community.  That is why awareness events are so important.  Now, there may not be an awareness week for my particular diagnosis, but the American organisation VEDA (Vestibular Disorders Association) is this week helping to raise awareness of Balance or Vestibular Disorders this week (September 15th – September 21st) of which dizziness and vertigo is a classic symptom.

The vestibular system includes the parts of the inner ear and brain that process the sensory information involved with controlling balance and eye movements. If disease or injury damages these processing areas, vestibular disorders can result. – VEDA website

Vestibular disorders can also include the following symptoms:

  • Visual-spatial problems
  • Clumsiness
  • Fatigue
  • Holding head in a tilted position
  • Difficulty in concentrating
  • Tendency to touch or hold onto something when standing
  • Poor hand-eye coordination

See this informative infographic from VEDA to find out more about these disorders.

Infographic_final

There may not be an awareness week for my neurological condition anytime soon but I am happy to support an awareness event to raise awareness of a symptom that greatly affects my life.  I may not live with a vestibular condition myself, but after living with dizziness and vertigo for so long, I can understand and empathise with those who do.  So, I will help VEDA and stand in solidarity with everyone affected by dizziness, vertigo and balance conditions and do so whilst wearing my ‘Dizzy not Drunk’ t-shirt!!

 

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I originally completed the ’30 things you may not know…’ meme back in 2012.  However, I thought it might be fun to complete these 30 questions again, not only to meet new (and old!) fellow bloggers but to also see how my answers have changed during the past two years.  It is true that as my condition has progressed and am now have the need for mobility aids such as a crutch and sometimes a wheelchair, my condition it could be argued is no longer invisible.  To some extent this may be true, however, I have also found that when I do use these mobility aids I do so with suspicion from others because I look ‘fine’ and in their minds I have no need for such assistance.  It’s as if they are expecting someone with a legitimate illness or disability to have a specific mark, branding them as such.  It therefore does raise the question about what exactly defines an ‘invisible illness’ doesn’t it?

  1. The illness I live with is…
    A neurological condition known as a long-standing brain stem lesion, as well as spastic paraparesis.  However, there is some debate that there may be more going on and therefore am going through tests and seeing more consultants to determine this.
  2. I was diagnosed with it in the year…
    2010
  3. But I had symptoms since…
    As long as I can remember, I am certain that I have had the stiffness and weakness in the legs since birth but went undetected for so long because I hadn’t realised that there might be a problem with my legs as I never knew anything different!  The vertigo and dizziness started in early infancy also but the exact age I am unsure of but I was very young.
  4. The biggest adjustment I have had to make is…
    Accept the limitations regarding my mobility and accept my need for a wheelchair.  I am often incredibly stubborn and will refuse to use my wheelchair, and by the end of the day I am in a lot of pain as well as having trouble moving around because of severe weakness in the legs.
  5. Most people assume…
    That because I am able to stand and walk sometimes when I have the wheelchair then it must mean that I am faking it all for sympathy or because of laziness.  Many people need to learn that because a person uses a wheelchair does not automatically mean that they are entirely dependent on one.
  6. The hardest part about mornings are…
    It has to be getting up out of bed!  Fatigue is another symptom that I suffer as a result of my condition and therefore it is very difficult to get out of bed as I still feel so tired.
  7. My favourite medical TV show is…
    It’s still has to be Grey’s Anatomy, although I am also addicted to Private Practice!!
  8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is…
    This is a tough question as like most people I own several gadgets which are all so useful in my daily life living with chronic illness.  But having to choose just one I would have to say my smartphone (Samsung Galaxy Note 3) as I am able to do so much with it and can be with me wherever I go.  For instance, thanks to applications such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest I can work on things related to my blog and keep in contact with fellow spoonies, which is fantastic on days which are struggle and need someone else to talk to.  More than this I can take photographs, be reminded to take medications on time, play games, watch videos or listen to music – generally be entertained and distracted from pain, dizziness, and life from a chronic illness in general!
  9. The hardest part about nights are…
    Trying to switch off from the pain and trembling that I experience in my legs due to the spastic paraparesis.  I often experience insomnia because of these symptoms and it’s even been known to wake me up!
  10. Each day I take __ pills and vitamins…
    9 pills
  11. Regarding alternative treatments I…
    Do not use any, as in my case the condition is not treatable even with conventional medical treatments, only can attempt to control the symptoms.  I did enjoy a lovely and relaxing massage whilst on holiday earlier this year which I did find help with the pain
  12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose…
    An invisible illness could be more positive in the way that people are more likely to treat you as everyone else
  13. Regarding work and career…
    I would love to have a career and full-time job but often worry if anyone would hire me due to the amount of time that I am unwell and also would question if I could hold down a job due to my legs giving way a lot and the inability to stand for long.  Am also not allowed to drive due to the severity of the dizziness and vertigo, and public transport is not an option as it requires standing for a significant period of time
  14. People would be surprised to know…
    That despite living with a neurological condition and dealing with severe symptoms everyday that I still manage to be positive!  Many people expect me to be depressed because I am stuck inside of the house for most of my time, and so am surprised that I am positive and upbeat.  Also, a lot of people love my positivity board which contains letters from friends, cards and posters with positive quotes and photographs of happy memories, all of which help me stay positive.
  15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been…
    I am not like everyone else my age and cannot achieve the milestones that I was once looking forward to, passing my driving test being one.  Another example, is going out at night with friends, which I am unable to do due to the weakness in my legs, as well as the intense fatigue I experience at night.  It has also been hard to accept that I may need to use a wheelchair as my legs keeps becoming worse over time.
  16. Something that I ever thought I could because of my illness which I did was…
    It has to be going on a cruise.  Not only did I think it was out of my reach due to the severity of the dizziness relating to my neurological condition, but also I never expected me to be able to handle it, but I did and looking back the holiday was a fantastic experience, and between you and me we have just booked to go on another one next year around the Canaries!
  17. The commercials about my illness…
    Are non-existent as the condition is rare.  In fact it is so rare that I haven’t met anyone else with the same condition.
  18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is…
    Going on shopping trips with my Mum to our local city centre (Cardiff).  Since my legs have become so much worse am unable to go as a lot of walking is involved as well as not being able to queue in the big department stores as my legs often give way.  Also, large cities such as Cardiff can be very difficult for me to handle because of the dizziness, as it makes me very disoriented due to the large crowds, fluorescent lights in the shops and high ceilings and so on.
  19. It was really hard to have to give up…
    Doing all the exercise that I enjoyed such as going on my exercise bike or going on walks as not only is it beneficial physically, I often found it helped with mental well-being.  I also miss walking my dog as it’s something that both her and my Mum and I enjoyed doing together.
  20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is…
    Blogging and writing.  If I had not ben diagnosed with this neurological condition then I would never have started blogging or meeting all of the wonderful people I have as a result of my writing.  I also never would have had the opportunity to contribute to the inspiring digital magazine ‘The Pillow Fort Magazine’ especially for those battling with chronic conditions.
  21. If I could have one of feeling normal again I would…
    Spend the whole day out of the house with dinner afterwards and maybe headed to a party after that!
  22. My illness has taught me…
    To listen to my body, and that we all know when there is something wrong.  To never settle when doctor’s are telling you there is nothing wrong when you know there is.  To keep moving forward and to never give up until you find a doctor that will listen and is determined to find out what is wrong.
  23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that really gets under my skin is…
    “There are people much worse off than you”.  Yes, I understand this but it still doesn’t help!!
  24. But I love it when people…
     
    Listen to me and tried to understand even though it can be difficult due to the unpredictable and unusual nature of the illness.
  25. My favourite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is…
    It has to be “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain”
  26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them…
    It is not the end.  You still have a lot to offer just need to be open to new opportunities.  You need to find a new normal instead of focusing on the past and everything that once loved doing but can no longer do.
  27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is…
    Although that I do not know anyone else with the exact same condition, I am still not alone.  There are many other people who experience the same struggles as myself and whom I can learn from and can support each other through the tough times.
  28. The nicest thing that someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was…
    Sending me a care package with things that I love and a beautiful card to add to my positivity board
  29. I’m involved with ‘Invisible Illness Week‘ because…
    To spread awareness of the difficulties faced when living with a chronic invisible illness; to educate people that although you cannot see the problem does not mean that it doesn’t exist.  That people with invisible illnesses are not faking or are lazy and that we should be careful when making snap judgements about people.  It’s a cliché but it’s true: ‘You cannot judge a book by its cover”.  It would also be nice to connect with others living with invisible illnesses like myself for support and friendship.
  30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel…
    I feel validated and supported so thank you!!

I was very saddened to hear of the loss of one of the greatest film comedians of our time – Robin Williams.  Like many others, I grew up watching him in films such as Mrs Doubtfire, Jumanji,  and Jack as well as delighting in his performances as Mork in the hit comedy series ‘Mork and Mindy’.  Not only was Robin Williams an incredibly talented comedian but he also showed great vulnerability in his performances in more serious roles in films such as ‘Good Will Hunting’, and even in his earlier roles such as ‘Jack’ where he plays a ten year-old child trapped inside a man’s body due to a rare ageing disorder.

His death is incredibly sad.  Not only has the world lost a huge talent who loved to make others’ smile and laugh despite hiding an incredible sadness within himself but his family lost someone they so deeply loved.  A wife has lost her husband and three children have lost a father.  But what is also sad and tragic is the ugliness that a minority have people shown in the wake of his death.  Reportedly, Zelda the daughter of the late star has left social media due to messages from cruel trolls.  Also, there have been many who have posted such cruel and horrible online messages because of the way he died.  It was established early on, that Robin Williams sadly took his own life after many years of battling demons such as alcohol addiction and depression.  In the wake of the news, many blamed Williams for his death stating that they had no sympathy as he was to their minds selfish and not thinking of his family.  Others asked themselves what did he have to be depressed about as he ‘seemed to have it all.’

Robin Williams in 'Patch Adams' a film that taught us that laughter is the best medicine
Robin Williams in ‘Patch Adams’ a film that taught us that laughter is the best medicine

But that is the thing about depression – it does not discriminate (Click to Tweet)

But that is the thing about depression – it does not discriminate.  Depression does not care if you are rich or poor.  Depression does not even care if you are famous.  Depression is a cruel illness which can affect anyone at anytime.  It is an illness that I am all to familiar with; it is an illness that has affected my life since my teenage years.  And add a diagnosis of a chronic illness such as Parkinson’s Disease, with which Robin Williams was reportedly diagnosed with before his death than depression, it could be argued that depression is a natural reaction.  Chronic illness, and particularly one of a degenerative condition can rob you  and changes everything that you knew – your health, mobility, relationships, career and the future to name but a few.  Chronic illness makes life uncertain and scary.

Chronic illness makes life uncertain and scary (Click to Tweet)

To those who accused Robin Williams  and those who commit suicide of not thinking of his family, this could not be further from the truth.  As someone who has been so down, even experiencing thoughts of suicide, then I know that in these situations the person are thinking of their family and loved ones – when depressed, and certainly when also experiencing a chronic illness which makes  you reliant on your loved ones you therefore feel that your family would be better off without you around.  Of course, it is not true, but depression is a beast that changes the way you think and therefore convinces you to think the worse.

Fortunately, I found support, especially the support available online within the spoonie community.  I came to the realisation that life is worth living despite living with a neurological condition.  Unfortunately, it was too late for Robin Williams.  If you are reading this and you feel depressed and suicidal then please reach out for help – tell somebody.  Life is worth living even if it may feel that it doesn’t right now.

In regards to Robin Williams, let’s remember him for the person he was – a person who had a raw talent and loved to make others laugh and be happy.  Let that be his lasting legacy and not the way he died.

To talk to someone in the UK  you can call ‘The Samaritans’:

  • 08457 90 90 90 * (UK)

Or contact Mind: The Mental Health Charity: www.mind.org.uk

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