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Welcome to the sixth day of the National Health Blog Month Challenge hosted by WEGO Health.   Every day during the month of November I will be writing a new blog post related to health and living with a chronic illness based upon given prompts provided by WEGO Health.

Today’s prompt reads:

Say WHAT?! What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard about your health condition?  Was there any context? What did you think at the time you heard it – and what do you think of it now?

 

This is a tough prompt relating to my health condition as because it is rare and few people really know about it, then as a result I don’t really hear ridiculous things regarding my illness.  So, I had to go back to the thinking board for this one.  Then I remember a comment I heard whilst out with my carer.  The incident happened a couple of weeks after I started using the wheelchair.  This one week we arrived in our local town and decided to go for a drink and so after my carer got the wheelchair out of the boot of the car and set it up, I then got out of the car to get in the chair.  To do this, I took a tentative and wobbly steps to the wheelchair, and when we were ready I wheeled myself to the local coffee shop.  After ordering, and whilst waiting for the order to be ready, I went to look for a table for us to sit at, and as my carer was still at the counter waiting for our drinks, I began to check my emails, when i heard a conversation between a middle-aged couple at the next table.  “Tsk, I saw her outside walking to the wheelchair; she obviously doesn’t need it!  She must be lazy!”

I was so shocked and upset that I didn’t say anything to the couple and instead focused on my phone, and then as my carer arrived with our drinks, put a smile on my face and started a conversation.  Afterwards, I was very angry – how dare they judge me!  How dare they judge a situation that they don’t know and obviously do not understand.  It saddens me that judgements regarding disability still hasn’t changed despite the so-called legacy of the Paralympics from last year.  I’m not saying however that these judgements are representative of the majority of people, but there are still a minority who assume that just because I am physically able to walk, means that I am not in need of a wheelchair.  I am sure they would think very differently, if they had seen me stumble around and legs giving way because of the weakness.  Yes, I can physically walk but doing so not only causes great discomfort and pain but am also on edge and waiting for them to give way, so using such an aid not only saves me from endless falls but also allows me to enjoy trips out without the worry of when they are next going to give way.

Have you heard something ridiculous about your health condition>  If so, what was it?  How did you feel or react?  Feel free to comment below…

On Wednesday at the ‘Life 4 Living‘ group that I attend, we had a very interesting seminar on Diversity.  In the seminar we were split into two groups and given a laminated sheet with a picture of an island, and a deck of cards with pictures of a diverse group of people, with only their occupation listed on the cards.  We were then told that a ship carrying the people on the cards was in an accident, which resulted in the ship sinking and the people being stranded in the middle of the ocean.  Each group had a lifeboat – however, on the lifeboat there were only spaces for 10 people, and hence we had to decide who of those people to save and whom to leave in the water.

This was obviously very difficult as the only basis we had to make our decisions is what they looked like and their occupations.  During our discussions we decided to save a doctor and nurse, to treat those with medical injuries, a carpenter to help build shelter from the bad weather, and gardener’s to help grow crops and nutrients whilst being stuck on the deserted island.

However, we soon learnt that the doctor who we chose to rescue was in fact a doctor of music and not a medical doctor.  And the nurse, was a veterinarian and so would not be very useful in treating human patients!  And the people whom we rejected, for example, the biker as we thought he looked like he would cause trouble, would in fact be extremely useful in an emergency situation as he was a surgeon.

This exercise, however, taught us how we often make judgements based on very little information causing us to make snap decisions on the type of person we are busy scrutinising.  We are too busy scrutinising others; determining the type of person we believe them to be instead of seeking out the person’s story.

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Many of you spoonies reading this will surely understand this; particularly those with invisible illnesses as we are often victim of others’ judgements.  For example, once I went out, and forgot my crutch.  Due to the problems with my balance, I was all over the place, and as a result, a woman came up to me and accused me of being drunk.  I have heard many other stories, of spoonies whom have been victims of incorrect assumptions made by others – people who have been accused of misusing a disability badge, because there were no outward signs of illness or disability, and thus were labelled as being healthy, and in no need of using a disability parking bay.  There are endless examples of these types of anecdotes that have been shared by spoonies everywhere.  I am sure everyone reading can think of at least one example from their personal experience.  Please feel free to share your experiences in the comment section below.

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So, the game that we played at Life 4 Living, and through the experience of living with an invisible illness, has taught me to not make assumptions about people, without getting to know them first.  To not assume that a person has no wounds, or illness because there are no scars; no signs of illness or disability as not all wounds, illnesses or disabilities are visible, many are hidden as if keeping a secret from the outside world.  And as the quote above also tells us, we also shouldn’t judge so quickly or harshly as we may find ourselves walking in that person’s shoes.

Perhaps if we weren’t so quick to judge in the exercise at Life 4 Living then we may have chosen the people that would have been useful whilst being deserted on that island, instead of those we chose based on our preconceived ideas regarding their abilities and resources that they would bring.

 

This is a lesson that we all must learn….

There are many definitions of wrong.  These include:

a) not in accordance with what is morally right or good

b) deviating from truth or fact; erroneous

c) not correct in judgement, opinion, method, etc

d) not proper or usual;  not in accordance with requirements or recommended practice

e) out of order; awry; amiss

Many people make false judgements based on appearance, colour of skin, race, gender and so on.  Below is a picture of me on a night out:

Looking at the picture you might assume that I am healthy, that there is nothing wrong at all in my life.  However, this would be wrong…

This was taken on a rare night out; usually I am too unwell to go out in the evening; instead putting on a pair or pyjamas and watching television cocooned in my snuggie.  Often my legs are far too weak to be able to enjoy a good night out, too dizzy and sick to sit in a restaurant with lots of stimulation surrounding me.

This is also a problem with the disability benefits assessments; too many false judgements are made; on one occasion where I had failed a medical, the report commented on how I looked well, dressed smartly.  So, does that mean that just because I suffer from a chronic illness and am disabled that I cannot dress in nice clothes and look smart?  Seeing me for approximately 20 minutes which mainly involves sitting down, that made a judgement that I was able to walk a certain distance, where in reality it was completely inaccurate, instead my legs give way and left unable to walk very far.

I think it is an important lesson for us all; not to judge people on a first meeting or just by looking at them – as the saying goes ‘When you assume , you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”! 

Love to know your thoughts and comments – what does the word ‘wrong’ look like to you?

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