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I'm Fine A Lie That Chronic Illness Makes Me Tell

I’m Fine: A Lie Illness Makes Me Tell

'I'm fine.' Two small, simple words I speak no matter what when asked how I am. But it's also an extremely misleading answer, if not an outright lie. Because in reality, I am never fine. I never feel fine; my chronic illness's symptoms ensure that. Therefore, I'm fine is a lie that chronic illness makes me tell daily. I frequently encounter some variation of 'How are you?'. It is a question I hear every day from all different types of...

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Why I Don't Always Talk About My Chronic Life

Why I Don’t Always Talk About My Chronic Life

Do you know that you talk about your illness a lot? I hear this accusation a lot, but one I can't entirely agree with, there are reasons why I don't always talk about my chronic life. Like many people in this day and age, I share a lot online. And yes, much of my engagement online, particularly on social media, involves discussing my life living with a neurological disorder. After many years of not knowing the cause of the...

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depression, suicide, suicidal thoughts

Depression: The Darker Side of Chronic Illness

Trigger Warning: Descriptions of Depression, Suicide and Suicidal Thoughts I love losing myself in a story. I especially love doing so when experiencing adversity and setbacks in my health. It allows me the opportunity to escape from my life dictated by illness. Instead, I can experience excitement and adventure, albeit in my vivid imagination. With a clear beginning, middle and end, stories feel predictable and reassuringly safe with their linear narrative. Because living with a chronic illness is terrifyingly unpredictable,...

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Deterioration: A Threat That This Isn't Over

Deterioration: A Threat That This Isn’t Over

As I stare out of my window, I witness the seasons changing. I saw as the leaves fell from the trees outside. The ground suddenly became a beautiful canvas of colours with orange, red, yellow, and green hues. The days gave way to cooling temperatures and darkening afternoons that stretch long into the night. And I have watched as heavy rain has pelted against my window panes. We can reconcile such changes by switching on cosy lights, wrapping up in...

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