Tag

dizziness

Browsing
In Chronic Illness

HAWMC Day 5: Ekphrasis Post

No Comments

Another day has come upon us…so it’s now the fifth day of the WEGO Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge. Th prompt for today reads:

Ekphrasis Post…Go to flickr.com/explore and write a post inspired by the image. Can you link it to your health focus? Don’t forget to post the image!

Ekphrasis is defined as ‘a description of a visual work of art…and is considered generally to be a rhetorical device in which one medium of art tries to relate to another medium dy defining and describing its essence and form’.

Anyway, this is the image that flickr chose for me:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/star_gazer_32/2052442753/

For copyright reasons, I was unable to upload the photograph to the post itself.

So, how would this image relate to my health condition? Well for one, this image really sums up my world how it looks whilst I am dealing with the visual disturbances in my daily life – everything out of focus, and blurred, so not being able to clearly make out objects, people or places, which when they come on can be frightening indeed…

Also, it is ironic that the image that appeared was of a carousel – they obviously go round and round, often producing feeling of dizziness and nausea. Two symptoms which I suffer from every day!!  Often, after coming off a carousel or other rides such as these, often leave your legs feeling like jelly, which is a sensation similar I experience everyday with my legs which continuously feels weak and wobbly, as if at any moment I will fall as if my legs are unable to support my weight.

Living with a chronic illness can in many ways be symbolised by the movement of the carousel horses, like the one in the image – up, and down, up and down. Many chronic illnesses, or illnesses which cannot be seen are very often fluctuating condition, so that one day you may be feel on top of the world, have lots of energy… whilst the next day you may be at rock bottom, feeling incredibly unwell, lethargic.

The colours and the lights are that are depicted in the image are problematic for me – strobe lights like these often being on episodes of vertigo and visual disturbances when I am faced with them. So being in the location of the carousel from the picture would probably leave me feeling very unwell indeed!!

The image has evoked a feeling of deja vu in me, as if the image itself describes my everyday life – the spinning of the carousel itself depicting the continuous dizziness and episodes of vertigo.  The image being blurred and out of focus depicting the visual disturbances which come and go throughout the day.  And the feelings after coming off a carousel reflecting the jelly like feelings in my legs and the weakness in them.

Well, that’s all folks.  I hope you enjoyed the post – I myself have found this particular prompt very difficult indeed, and not sure that I have done well with it all.  If you have any comments or thoughts, please feel free to share them, i would love to know what you all think

by
Keep Reading
In Chronic Illness

HAWMC Day 1: Health Time Capsule

No Comments

Well folks, April is finally here – the sun is shining and flowers are blooming, Spring is definitely in the air – and of course begins the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge courtesy of WEGO Health. A challenge in which I have to write a post for every day in April – being provided with prompts that I have to write about.

Today’s prompt says the following:

Pretend you’re making a time capsule of you and your health focus that won’t be opened until 2112. What’s in it? What would people think of it when they found it.

Okay, so first thing, according to Wikipedia, a time capsule is defined as:

“…a historic cache of goods or information, usually intended as a method of communication with future people…”

Sounds easy, right? However, I have had some difficulty – as my condition is not common and seems to be rare, especially as I have come across very little information regarding it and have not found anyone else living with the same condition as me. Although I take several different medications, none of which really treat my condition or its symptoms, they merely ease the severity of the symptoms.

So, to start I have decided to place a letter intended for whoever happens to find the capsule – a letter introducing myself, about my life, hobbies, interests, and of course, about my condition – the medical jargon, the symptoms and how it affects me and my daily life. Perhaps, also including transcripts of my blog posts to gain extra insight into my condition. My journal would also be a great tool to learn more about me and my condition, one which fully dictates everything I go through day in and day out, as well as thoughts and feelings, pretty much everything about me!!

Also, have included two letters – a referral letter and the other the first appointment to see a hospital consultant. You may be wondering why, but I think it would be interesting as part of social history to compare the waiting lists from the past and the present. What would the people living 2112 think of our waiting times to see a consultant? Would they be shocked at how long they are? This is also of some interest for people living in the UK considering the recent discussions into the reforms of the NHS. Whether the reforms will make any difference to the length of waiting times remains to be seen.

I have also included a visual aid to represent one of the main symptoms that I experience – dizziness. And I have represented the dizziness by placing a spinning top into the time capsule.

Perhaps when the person who opens the time capsule will get dizzy when looking at the toy spin round and round. Maybe then they will be able to appreciate what it is like to live with it 24/7 like myself.

I have placed my degree certificate and transcripts in there – to show that even when living with an invisible and life long condition, it does not have to stop you from achieving something great.

My crutch is something else that is going in. A mobility aid that helps me in my daily life, as my legs are weak and have trouble with balance, it helps (or at least tries to!) maintain my balance and so I don’t fall!!

Another problematic symptom that I experience is due to the spastic paraparesis, causing stiffness, heaviness and tingling sensations in my legs, and of course weakness which often leads to my legs giving way on me. However, this is obviously a symptom which nobody can see, so it lead me to ask how I would represent this in my tine capsule? Then I remembered, a nickname that I was given a while ago – Bambi!! Yes, I have been given a nickname based on the Disney who at the beginning on the film is unable to stand on his legs, falling over as he tries to – not unlike me when my legs are weak and they collapse from under me. So I have placed a cute cuddly toy of Bambi to represent the spastic paraparesis.

And I have also included a butterfly – something that I love to represent me. Love the symbolism of them – that they are free beings, able to go here and there, something that I wish I could do. And of course, they start off as something else and transform into something beautiful. Perhaps, that is what happens when we become ill – that we transform into a better version of ourselves.

So, that is my time capsule!! I think that when someone in 2112 will open this, they will probably be very baffled!! Although, for many years I think I have baffled many doctors as getting a final diagnosis was quite a battle.

Where would I hide the time capsule?  Well, it would probably hide it in the vast field near my house – it would be nice that somebody who in the future who’s living in the street where I am now would find it.  Can’t imagine that it would end up in a museum or anything, but even if it’s just to educate someone about the complexities of the brain, and the problems associated with neurological conditions, and those conditions which cannot be seen.

Hope you have enjoyed the first post and would love to hear any responses and thoughts you may have, don’t hesitate to comment.

What would you place in your time capsule??

by
Keep Reading
In Chronic Illness

Fighting the Battle…

No Comments

Hey Everyone

Haven’t posted in a while, for which I apologise for, but lately am finding things so tough as of late.

The symptoms that I experience with my condition – as I have mentioned before:

  • Dizziness
  • Stiffness and weakness in legs (Spastic Paraparesis)
  • Sporadic episodes of vertigo with visual disturbances such as double vision, tunnel vision

All these seem to worsening… for example, a couple of days this week my legs were so weak that I could barely stand, and as a consequence most of those days were spent in bed watching mind-numbing day-time television, or listening to audio books – I love reading but the visual disturbances were so bad that I really was unable to focus on a book, and after several recommendations from others in a similar position to mind, bought some audiobooks to pass the time when I am having bad times and unable to read.

My legs were trembling so bad, a feeling similar to when your legs feel like jelly when you are nervous, that I just was unable to stand for very long, so really was unable to do much at all and realised how much we all take for granted – going for a showers, making a drink or lunch for ourselves, and so on.  The dizziness was also very intense, as I have mentioned before the dizziness is constantly there, but the intensity of it changes from day-to-day, sometimes moment to moment.  The way it makes me feel is as if I am totally unbalanced, and unable to ground myself, and when standing I can literally feel myself swaying back and forth.  The episodes of vertigo, however differs in that they are episodic, and so come and go (although are becoming much more frequent) and with the vertigo comes the sensation of the world moving, for many it feels as if the room is spinning.  However, I would describe it as everything moving back and forth, and often includes tunnel vision.

As I was so bad my parents pushed me into making another appointment to see our local GP.. after some thought I have made one, although I just get this feeling that I am just wasting the time of the doctor, as it has already  been said that there is nothing that can be done, so it there much point in going?  Should I ask to see the neurological consultant again, even though they are unable to do anything for me?

And on top of all this – it’s also the emotional impact living with a chronic or life-long condition, the feeling of being alone, that no-one else understands what you are going through.  The isolation of being in a room by oneself, no-one to talk to…

Feelings of loneliness and isolation...

Through all of this, not being able to go by myself, in case of a fall or if the visual disturbances come on with no warning, leaving me unable to really focus on where I am (dangerous and could lead to an accident), it has left me very lonely and with no friends, apart from my online support network which is fantastic, but just wish that I could live a normal life, and do things with someone else such as shopping, or going for a cup of coffee, etc.

However this is the card I have been dealt, and maybe there is a reason why ‘this’ did happen to me., and am meant to do something with everything I have dealt with or have learnt from all of this… Now I just need to find the answer and what I am able to do with my life….

by
Keep Reading
In Chronic Illness

The role of support and health communities for people living with chronic and long-term conditions…

No Comments

Hey Everyone

Sorry, I have not posted for a bit but I have been unwell as my Dad has kindly given me his cold – which has made me feel very unwell and extremely lethargic.

Today, I would like to discuss the role of support groups and other health communities out there for people, like myself who have chronic and long-term health conditions.  These online support groups and communities, for me, has been a god send – as I find myself feeling unwell all of the time, as well as having the dizziness 24/7 and 365 days a year and therefore unable to really leave the house on my own, a lot of my time is spent alone – leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation which can then lead to feelings of depression.

As a result a lot of my time is spent online where I am able to talk to others out there who, although might not have the exact same conditions as me, sometimes have similar symptoms or experiences as me.  Communities or ‘groups’ even exist on social media sites such as Facebook, where in fact I am a member of a several groups, some of which are for people living with chronic and disabling dizziness.  No one, so far whom I have met online, has the exact condition as me, however, this has not meant that I find them any the less useful, or not able to get support out of them – many of the people whom I have met have become great friends of mine, and can still relate to what I am going through in terms of the dizziness as they too are going through something similar.  One of the groups that I am a member of, even have Skype meetings, giving us the chance to actually talk to one another instead of constantly typing answers at each other!!

These sessions, are something which I look forward each month with great enthusiasm – it doesn’t just give me the chance to speak to others about what I am going through with the dizziness, and to gather information and support from these terrific women but also gives me the chance to have a laugh and a giggle with people other than my parents!  Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents dearly and they are a fantastic support, but it does get very isolating just speaking with them day in and day out.

I have also found another very useful too online – an online health community called PatientsLikeMe.  If you would like to know more after reading this then please find the link in the ‘Blogroll’ section.

Information regarding the community - how it works

PatientsLikeMe was founded in 2004, and provides patients with all kinds of conditions and is basically a health sharing website for people with a variety of conditions, hence ‘patients’.  Patients are able to enter data regarding their conditions – such as the condition itself, or even multiple conditions, symptoms associated with said condition or conditions and even the treatments that the patient has taken in the past as well as those treatments that are presently being taken.  In addition, every now and again, members are also asked to complete several questionnaires regarding their mood and quality of life as well as questions regarding symptoms experienced – by answering these simple questions members create helpful charts and timelines to enable users to watch the progression of their condition over time – using the site, members can also add their care team to their profile, to keep their doctors up to date with everything.  There is an even a tool called ‘instantme’ where in 140 characters or less are able to type in on how you feel that particular day – there are 5 options to choose from – ‘very good’, ‘good’, ‘neutral’. ‘bad’, or ‘very bad’ – and then all you have to type in is why you feel that way!  Simple!  Myself, I use the ‘instantme’ tool everyday, as I find it an invaluable tool to track the progression of my conditions and to see if there has been an improvement or deterioration in my symptoms.

Using the site you are also able to find patients just like you – well I haven’t, but that’s another story, but for conditions such as MS or Depression, there are many members with that particular condition, and can even search patients with the same symptoms as yourself, as well as searching for those with the same treatments, and even search for those within the same geographical location – or can even search for those using a combination of criteria.  And furthermore, using the tools such as the symptom or treatments reports you are able to learn and find out and see what others are experiencing – as well as being able to ask questions, share tips that you have picked up along the way and to support others using the forums – which they are many of as well as through a private messaging service.  Basically PatientsLikeMe is a great social media site, like Facebook for those with long-term health conditions!!  If anyone reading this has such a condition, I would more than recommend joining – even though I haven’t found anyone else with the same condition I am still finding it a very useful tool to track the progression of my health – and can even print out ‘doctors reports’ showing the severity of my symptoms and any information that I have entered to show them how I am doing.

by
Keep Reading
In Chronic Illness

An Introduction…

No Comments

Hello to my first post of my brand new blog.

Just a little about me … I am 25 and from a town in South Wales, United Kingdom.

A little over a year ago, or is it two??  Anyway, I was diagnosed with a long-standing brain stem lesion.  What is that you ask?  Well, to answer that question, a lesion is by definition any abnormal change involving tissue or an organ through disease or injury. With mine, it is basically scarring on the brain stem.  The brain stem being the part of the brain that sits right on the bottom of the brain connecting the brain itself with the spinal cord.

Diagram of the Brain

Am not sure  about all the technical jargon involving the brain stem, or indeed exactly the part of which the scarring is located.  But for me, the lesion causes, and has caused since the age of 8 chronic and disabling dizziness – the sensation that the world around you is moving, for many this sensation feels as if the room is spinning around… although for me it generally feels as if my world is pulsating back and forward… back and forward.  And the general feeling of disequilibrium… not of being stable, as if at any minute you are going to fall.  For example, when standing up, and for many of you, you can stand there completely still like the Queen’s Guard you see outside of Buckingham Palace.  However, in my case I am unable to stand still, and instead my body sways in a back and forward motion.   The dizziness used to come and go in sporadic episodes, but now as my brain has changed and grew my illness has progressed and now I am in a state of disequilibrium 24/7.  The vertigo or ‘the sensation of the room moving’ comes and goes in episodes, although these episodes seem to be much more frequent than they have ever been.

The brain stem is also important for balance, and unfortunately for me do not seem to have much balance!  As a consequence I fall regularly and am unsteady on my feet… so if you ever see me on the street, I am not drunk, OK??

As well as those issues regarding balance and the dizziness, I also suffer from something called ‘spastic paraparesis’.  Spastic paraparesis causes muscle stiffness and weakness in the legs, in some cases, which has started happening with me can affect the arms also.  The SP has meant that my legs have become very stiff, making it difficult to walk and causing discomfort and pain and as they are weak I am unable to stand for any more than 10 to 15 minutes before they collapse from under me.

Well, that’s it for the first post, folks!  I’ll be updating whenever… more about my condition, more about me, commenting on stories that affect me, that kind of thing…

Hope you enjoyed… and feel free to comment too…

 

Origin of Image: CancerHelpUK

by
Keep Reading
Pin It