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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based upon given prompts.

Saturday 12th April: Pet Pal 

Write a thank you letter to your furry, feathery, or fishy friend for always being there for you. How have they helped you cope with your health condition?

Dear Honey,

It seems strange writing you this letter, as for you are a dog, and therefore cannot read.  But this is a letter of thanks.  A letter of thanks to you for your many years of love and loyalty that you have not just shown to me, but to the entire family.  A letter to thank you for always being there for me through the good and the bad.

Gorgeous picture of Honey :)
Gorgeous picture of Honey 🙂

Who knew that when we first got you fourteen years ago from The Dog’s Trust that we would have been on this long and arduous journey together.  It is true that even back then, I was ill; suffering from unexplained dizziness and problems with my legs but we had no idea the cause or that it would be long-term.

Even more incredible was the connection that we developed.  Do you remember the times when you suddenly started crying?  We do, and the times we would try to figure out the reason behind it!  And then we noticed the correlation between the crying and the onset of the dizzy spells that I was experiencing – you were warning me when the dizziness was going to start.  It wasn’t just this, of course, which solidified our connection, but also the fainting spells that happened a couple of years after you came into our lives.  I don’t remember the moments before the attack, however, but I just remember coming to and seeing you standing over my body and licking my face.  How clever and loving you are!

Now of course, being diagnosed with a neurological condition which has deteriorated quite significantly since the time we first brought you home with us, a lot has changed.  For instance, I am home a lot more as I am too weak and unwell to leave the house unaided, and in addition, because of the weakness in my legs, I can no longer take you for walks either by myself or with Mum.

This is a picture of Honey on 'Rhiann Watch' on a day in which I was in bed due to severe dizziness and incredible weakness in my legs.  Was home alone so Honey saw it has her duty to keep me company and make sure all is well!
This is a picture of Honey on ‘Rhiann Watch’ on a day in which I was in bed due to severe dizziness and incredible weakness in my legs. Was home alone so Honey saw it has her duty to keep me company and make sure all is well!

But what hasn’t changed however, is the love, loyalty and companionship that you show me.  The love that you obviously feel for me; the wag of your tail when you see me, how you bark at me when my legs are too weak and not stopping until I am safely sat on the sofa.  Often my symptoms are severe, and a lot of those days, both Mum and Dad are at work and therefore home alone, but having your presence with me is comforting.  It makes me feel both comforted and protected having you snuggling with me whilst I am lying on our sofa with a  blanket, too weak to move.  Or when the weakness is so severe and stuck in bed, and you will come upstairs regularly and check on me, or lie next to my bed makes me feel loved and well looked after and managed to raise a smile on a bad day.  I feel so guilty on these occasions as I am unable to get up to feed you, and although you do constantly harass me to do so, you never hold it against me that I cannot do so.  You still show me a lot of love and affection.  And I reciprocate; I even love you coming into bed with me, even if you do somehow take up most of the bed!

You have brought so much joy to our family during the last fourteen years; you make us laugh with your silly antics and especially the cheekiness that you are exhume on an almost daily basis.  But most of all I love our cwtches (so cute when you lean against me and tuck your head into my neck) and the kisses that you give when I am feeling at my worst.

I feel so fortunate and grateful that we found you from The Dog’s Trust that September fourteen years ago, although sometimes it feels that you chose us than the other way around.   There is an old saying that ‘a rescue dog loves you more’ and I really think that you are the perfect example as I can’t imagine another dog loving and taking care of me they way you have.  You will always be a loved member of our family.  We certainly will never be able to forget you.  Thank you for everything you have done for me, and always being there when I am in need of comfort.  I know nothing lasts forever, and you are getting old now, but I still hope that we still have several more years ahead of us together.

Lots of love from your loving owner

Rhiann

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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based upon prompts given.

Today’s prompt reads as follows:

Date Night…We’ve seen some posts from Health Activists on dating tips when you have a chronic illness.  What tips do you have for those looking for the one fish in the big pond?

 

This, I have to admit is another difficult topic for me to write about.  Dating isn’t an area which I have a lot of experience in.  Due to the neurological condition that I live with, and the symptoms such as the severe dizziness, weakness and trembling in legs and the many falls that is a daily occurrence, it therefore, means that I am unable to go out on my own.  As a result, this can make it very difficult to be able to meet anyone, especially as I very rarely go out in the evenings or on nights out because of the crippling fatigue that accompanies my illness.  How on earth are we able to date when dealing with such intrusive symptoms?  Let’s face it, dating is a difficult subject no matter what your personal circumstances are, but factor in a chronic illness and it compounds the situation further.

Since the age of the internet, I suppose it has made dating easier when you are housebound a lot of the time, with the large number of internet dating sites out there.  However, with them comes a whole host of different problems such as when to divulge information regarding diagnosis, as well as not knowing exactly who you are talking to online.  Attending groups based on a specific interest such as a local book group, for example, can also be a great ways to meet other people who share the same interest and may even find the one.

So, when we do eventually find that perfect someone to date; what are some options for low-key dates for when fatigue and other symptoms are particularly bad?  Here are some lovely options that I have stumbled upon whilst researching this very topic:

  • Indoor Picnic: Going out for dinner is something that I love to do; however, on occasion I have had to cancel because I have felt too unwell, weak or even been bed bound to attend.  So, how about having a picnic with your date inside the house, or even the garden if you have one.  It also means that you can wear comfortable clothes, or even pyjamas and do not have to be self-conscious about your appearance; as well as enjoying quiet conversation in a relaxed environment
  • Early Dinner: I always find that my energy levels significantly drop just after 7 in the evening, so therefore, going out for a late dinner date, would not be very feasible for me, and much prefer going out earlier in the evening where it is often much quieter and you can even arrive back home in time for your favourite shows!  And another benefit that you may even save money by going for a meal early by taking advantage of early-bird menu options!
  • Movie Night: As regular readers of the blog know, I find it difficult being in large open spaces, with high ceilings.  This therefore restricts where I am able to go, and am often unable to go to cinema to see the latest releases as they often make me feel very nauseous and increases the severity of the dizziness and vertigo that I experience.  So, how about making a movie date night right in the comfort of our living rooms?  As an alternative, each could pick their favourite movie and then share them with the other, discussing what makes that particular film so brilliant.  Enjoy with ice-cream and popcorn and settle beneath a warm comfortable blanket.  And as a bonus, you don’t have to be disturbed by the rustling packets of other people’s snacks or be blocked by the head of another movie-goer!
  • Game Night: They may have am unfair reputation for being old-fashioned and dull but games may be a great distraction from chronic pain and other severe symptoms that you may be suffering from.  It can also prove a unique bonding experience and you may be surprised what you can learn about each other by playing games, specifically those which require tactics.  My personal favourite is Trivial Pursuit!  Or you can always complete a jigsaw puzzle together and time how long it takes you to finish it.
  • Personal Book Club: If like me you love books, you could always rope your partner into reading a  particular book that either one of you love, and then spend time discussing that particular book.  I love discussing books with others as often you find a new perspective on a loved book that you might not have even considered before, but what is also great, that you also gain and insight into another person’s insights and views of a variety of different topics depending on the book choice.

What is important, however, is  no matter how you meet your potential partner, is that they except you for who you are.  Chronic illness can be extremely difficult to live with, and not just for the person living with the condition.  Finding a person who accepts just that, are very special.  And the person has to deal with not just the condition but also understands the limitations and restrictions that it places on our lives, so our prospective partners needs to understand and accept that our date nights may not constitute the conventional and clichéd dates, but the need that we sometimes have to be alternative in our choices and find creative and low-key dates for when we are experiencing a flare in our conditions.

I would love to hear all of your thoughts!  What are your experiences of dating with chronic illness?  How did you meet your partner?  How are some of the ways you spend date nights when you are feeling particularly bad and unable to go out?  Feel free to share your stories in the comments section below!

 

Hey, everyone…

Am actually in good spirits today, had a great chat last night with my great friend Marissa for the interview I will be doing as part of her project on her blog abledis.com.

Anyway, getting back on topic, it is another day of the 30 Days, 30 Posts Challenge for the WEGO Health HAWMC.  I think today’s prompt is so far has been the most challenging for me, and it reads:

Theme Song…Imagine your health focus or blog is getting its own theme song? What would the lyrics be?  What type of music would it be played to?

I have found this very challenging, as I am not musical in the slightest.  So, instead of composing my very own song for my health focus or blog, instead I have chosen to select a song which I feel inspires me and reflects my life with the condition.

And the song I have chosen is ‘Because of You’ by Kelly Clarkson.  I absolutely love the song, and have decided that the ‘you’ in the song is a metaphor for the dizziness, and reflects how the dizziness has affected me and made me feel through the many years I have dealt with it.  These are the lyrics:

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I Will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I’ll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it’s not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break
When it wasn’t even whole to start with

Because of you
I’ll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I’ll never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don’t know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I’m ashamed of my life because it’s empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

Not all the lyrics are relevant, but there are a select few that really fits my life with the dizziness and mt condition in general.  For example, due to the severity of the dizziness and the episodes of vertigo and visual disturbances, I am unable to go out by myself and this is reflected in the lines “I’ll never stray too far from the sidewalk/Because of You/I learned to play on the safe side/So I don’t get hurt”.  It could also refer to the weakness in the legs, as they often give way on me with no warning, so obviously have to be careful of potential dangers in case of a fall.

Additionally, with the dizziness and experiencing at a very young age, I didn’t know what was going on, and was very difficult for me to articulate to doctors what the dizziness was like, and how I felt.  Also, friends and peers at school due to the dizziness, thought I was ‘odd’ because of it, sitting in science class on high stools, I often had to grab on to the side of the table and because of all of this I was ostracised by my peers, and when I did make friends, or whom I thought were friends, I later found out that they would make fun and ridicule me behind my back.  Even now I am cautious when meeting new people, and find it difficult to make new friends or trust new people who come into my life.  This is perfectly summed up with the lyrics “Because of You/I find it hard to trust/Not only me, but everyone around me/Because of You/I am afraid.”

Afraid? Yes, the dizziness, and the unknown of what it was or the origins of it, made me panic a lot,  the root cause of the anxiety that has plagued my life for many years….

Due to the lack of friends, the loneliness I lived with, and the dizziness and being generally unwell a lot of the time, I often felt low and often cried myself to sleep, a cathartic way to release all the pain I was feeling, sometimes I still do especially when the dizziness is bad or when my mood is low because I feel so bad – “And now I cry/In the middle of the night/For the same damn thing.”

There are many more comparisons that I could make between the life I live and have lived for many years with the song, but think I will leave it there and instead will leave you with the video to this amazing song:

I hope you have enjoyed the latest post, please feel free to post a comment – What would be your theme song?  Is there a particular song that inspires you or one that you can completely relate to?  Would love to hear your thoughts…

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