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During Adversity, We Look For Inspiration

Waking this morning in unendurable pain, I felt incredibly discouraged. Unable to get out of bed due, I immediately grabbed my iPad, for much-needed positivity and inspiration.

On my Pinterest feed, I have a board entitled ‘Positivity.’ A board filled with beautiful and inspiring words that would fill even the melancholy of hearts with positivity. The board has an eclectic mix of quotes, from famous scholars to quotes from books and films. There is a quote for everyone.

‘The Flower That Blooms In Adversity Is The Most Rare and Beautiful Of All’

Scrolling through the many quotes that exist on the board, one immediately caught my eye. It read ‘The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” The quote above is from the Disney film Mulan. It is thought, however, the basis of the story is that of the Plum Blossom. The plum blossom is the earliest blooming flower that grows in China.

'The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and beautiful of all' is such an exquisite quote that encapsulates those who experience chronic illness wonderfully." Share on X

It does not wait for the sun and warmth of Spring to arrive before it blooms. It thrives in the winter before the leaves of the tree have fully formed. The people of China are thought to be proud of what the flower represents. The plum blossom has been the inspiration of many poets and artists for centuries.

the flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all text with flowers wrapped around the text and flowers bordering the image

A flower will easily bloom given the perfect conditions; it is easy. A flower that grows despite bad and adverse conditions is unique and more beautiful because by all rights it shouldn’t have bloomed at all. The same principle can apply to people.

"A flower that grows despite bad and adverse conditions is unique and more beautiful as by all rights it shouldn't have blossomed at all. The same could be said for people." Share on X

Those who live through adversity and hardships is unique and beautiful because of them. Mulan is considered a heroine due to her overcoming the problems caused by her not conforming to the cultural standards of being a woman. And also due to the difficulties, she faces from serving in the army as another gender and eventually saving China from the Huns.

The Insecurities of Living With Chronic Illness

Everyone lives with insecurities. But, when living with a chronic illness, these insecurities grow exponentially. We feel sick the majority of the time which strips our self-confidence and sense of self-worth away. The journey of permanently coping with pain, illness is long and arduous, continually changing our bodies and our identities as the worsening symptoms become permanent.

"The journey of permanently coping with pain, illness is long and arduous, continually changing our bodies and our identities as the worsening symptoms become permanent." Share on X

But it is not only insecurities surrounding our bodies and our perception of beauty that we have to confront. There are many insecurities regarding everything outside of our comfort zone. Anything new and unfamiliar become frightening and overwhelming. After losing so much to pain and illness, we learn to self-doubt our abilities, and what we are capable of, a world where saying no is more comfortable than the anxiety-inducing prospect of what could be. We begin only to see our struggles and start defining ourselves by them.

"After losing so much to pain and illness, we learn to self-doubt our abilities, and what we are capable of, a world where saying no is more comfortable than the anxiety-inducing prospect of what could be." Share on X

There’s Strong, and Then There’s Chronic Illness Strong

What we forget, however, is the number of times we have gotten back up after being knocked down by illness. We get knocked down time and time again, but still, we rise. And when we are back on our feet, although it may not seem like it, we are stronger and more resilient than before. We begin to thrive and bloom when pushing past our demons, accomplishing things we may have never thought possible. However, despite all this, still radiating positivity and happiness despite the harsh conditions of living with a chronic illness.

"We forget the number of times we have gotten back up after being knocked down by illness. We get knocked down, time and time again, but still, we rise. Stronger and more resilient than before." Share on X

Yellow, blue and green watercolour background and text which reads there's strong then there's chronic illness strong

It is easy to go into survival mode when diagnosed with a chronic illness. To use disease as an excuse for everything that is wrong with life, or complaining about the impact it is having. However, in my experience and witnessing numerous people challenging their experiences into writing and advocacy and celebrating wins and precious moments, choosing to see them as blessings and not a right. It is these ‘rare flowers’ that can appreciate even the smallest blessings in life, yet able to enjoy them during times of great adversity.

"It is 'rare flowers' like those I have met in the chronic illness community that can appreciate even the smallest blessings in life, yet able to enjoy them during times of great adversity." Share on X

Thriving Even In Adversity

Perseverance is key to being able to flourish and bloom in any area of life. But perhaps more so for those living with chronic illness. To continually thrive despite limitations and restrictions that such illnesses place upon us is no easy feat. But still, we don’t give up, and we continue despite debilitating symptoms. Never giving in to the demands of such bothersome symptoms, determined never to utter the words no.

"But still, we don't give up, and we continue despite debilitating symptoms. Never giving in to the demands of such bothersome symptoms, determined never to utter the words no." Share on X

To thrive and not just survive life with a chronic illness, we must learn to listen to our bodies. To learn to balance our sheer determination versus that of the demands of the symptoms that vex us. And to recognise when we need to say no to something rather than the desire of wanting to say yes. Learning to do so, although it can be irritating can decrease the number of severe flares, increasing the opportunities for more fun. It can be tempting to rebel against the restraints that illness has but to flourish we need to learn to cooperate.

"It can be tempting to rebel against the restraints that illness has but to flourish sometimes we need to learn to cooperate with the symptoms and ultimately our bodies." Share on X

J.K. Rowling once wrote, its words uttered by her profound and philosophical character Professor Dumbledore. He said, “It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” A favourable attitude is crucial for those who are chronically ill; our ability to thrive and grow is contingent on the choices we make. We can choose who we are going to be regardless of where we are.

"A favourable attitude is crucial for those who are chronically ill; our ability to thrive and grow is contingent on the choices we make. We can choose who we are going to be regardless of where we are." Share on X

Community: A Garden of Rare and Beautiful Flowers

The beautiful and rare flowers within the chronic illness community see opportunity even within the most adverse situations. When limited to bed, for example, we see a chance to relive happy memories. Or to catch up on something on our ‘I must get a chance to get round to that’ list. To thrive, we focus on what we can do instead of that which we are unable. I try to embrace times of forced bed rest as an opportunity to catch up on films or television programmes I have meant to watch but just haven’t found the time to do so. It was during such a time that I stumbled upon the very quote that inspired this post. Inspiration often comes from the most unexpected of places.

"I try to embrace times of forced bed rest as an opportunity to catch up on films or television programmes I have meant to watch but just haven't found the time to do so." Share on X

Every Flower Must Grow Through Dirt

It may often feel that the burdens of illness that are always present in our lives, it may feel that they have buried us. Unable to escape or grow due to the new constraints that it has placed in our lives. However, it does not have to be this way. It is possible to plant ourselves in the dirt and to grow roots and allow ourselves to bloom and thrive even in adversity. After all, every flower must grow through dirt.

"It is possible to plant ourselves in the dirt and to grow roots and allow ourselves to bloom and thrive even in adversity. After all, every flower must grow through dirt." Share on X

I am dedicating this post for all those who are stuck in the darkness. For all those who are only aware of the insecurities arising from living with illness. Know that you have the same abilities from your life before sickness and you are still capable of so much. You can thrive and bloom despite the restrictions from constant and unrelenting symptoms. You can become a rare and beautiful flower despite adversity. It is for those within the chronic illness community who continue to support and comfort for those in need in spite of their suffering.

field of white, pink and yellow tulips underneath a pink background with blooming despite adversity written

When living with a chronic illness, any chronic illness there are of course many symptoms that we are forced to live with as a consequence. Both physical and psychological effects of living with a long-term health condition such as the neurological condition that I live with everyday. Perhaps one of the most significant and common psychological repercussions of living with a chronic illness, which is not always discussed is loneliness.

Loneliness is often discussed in relation to the elderly. It is often seen as a consequence of getting older. However, loneliness is a feeling that can strike at any age and whatever the personal circumstances of the individual concerned. In my personal experience, through personal experience and with engaging with those within the chronic illness and the ‘spoonie’ community, loneliness can also be very much evident when living with chronic illness. Not only is loneliness is felt in terms of living with a chronic illness itself, in the feeling that no else understands what it is like with living with such an illness. However, loneliness can also manifest itself in the physical sense – the lack of company. One often consequence of being diagnosed with a chronic illness, is that friends can disappear from our lives. Many cannot handle seeing a friend being in pain, or cannot understand when plans are often cancelled due to the onset of debilitating symptoms. Living with chronic illness can often result in many hours spent alone in our homes. Hours spent lying in bed or on a comfortable sofa. Hours spent binge-watching boxsets, often because a lack of other options and to fill the deafening silence that surrounds us.

Bank Holidays are a time where loneliness and isolation feels more evident when living with chronic illness — Holidays are a time where loneliness and isolation feels more evident when living with chronic illness

Being alone is something that I routinely have to deal with as my parents are often working and have few friends living nearby that have the time to visit and keep me company on those days in which my symptoms are particularly bad. It was on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day this year however, the feeling of loneliness and isolation was particularly evident. Like previous years, I celebrated the start of New Year alone, whilst my parents were sleeping upstairs (both were unfortunately started work early the next day) and as I had no contact with anybody and no-one had bothered to phone or text me to wish me a Happy New Year the feelings of loneliness were exacerbated. I felt jealous whilst watching the live New Year celebrations on television and seeing those people who were friends and family for the night meant for celebration, whilst I was sat on my own. The first day of a brand new year also started on my own in an empty house with only a dog whose only interest was sleeping. As cards drove onto our street and emptied with the arrival of visitors to other houses in my street, I felt even more alone and felt incredibly low.

It’s frustrating living with a neurological condition like mine. Due to the symptoms which are particularly debilitating such as the dizziness and weakness in the legs (which are unpredictable and it’s not known when they may give way), I am not able to get out of the house alone. Therefore, as a result it makes it even more difficult to be able to go out and make new friends. It’s as if my neurological condition has torn down bridges between myself and the life that I want to lead, and instead has built a wall around me, trapping and confining me.

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It is of course, easy to make online friends or even penpals which I have been trying as a way to quench my thirst for human interaction and companionship. These are great substitutes and an easy way to make new friends, but I still crave face-to-face interaction with someone around my own age over a cup of hot chocolate. Isn’t that we all want in life? Plenty of friends that we can count on during the good and bad times in our lives? How to achieve that when living with an illness that prevents you from leaving the house unaided is still a huge question that remains.

Although that I hope to gain new friends during the coming year, and hoping that I will have people to celebrate the start of 2016 with…