to top
depression, suicide, suicidal thoughts

Depression: The Darker Side of Chronic Illness

Trigger Warning: Descriptions of Depression, Suicide and Suicidal Thoughts I love losing myself in a story. I especially love doing so when experiencing adversity and setbacks in my health. It allows me the opportunity to escape from my life dictated by illness. Instead, I can experience excitement and adventure, albeit in my vivid imagination. With a clear beginning, middle and end, stories feel predictable and reassuringly safe with their linear narrative. Because living with a chronic illness is terrifyingly unpredictable,...

Continue reading
Deterioration: A Threat That This Isn't Over

Deterioration: A Threat That This Isn’t Over

As I stare out of my window, I witness the seasons changing. I saw as the leaves fell from the trees outside. The ground suddenly became a beautiful canvas of colours with orange, red, yellow, and green hues. The days gave way to cooling temperatures and darkening afternoons that stretch long into the night. And I have watched as heavy rain has pelted against my window panes. We can reconcile such changes by switching on cosy lights, wrapping up in...

Continue reading
Pain or Painkillers: A Difficult Decision To Make

Pain or Painkiller: A Difficult Decision To Make

I lie here in bed, unable to discern anything but pain. A burning, searing pain travelling up and down my back and legs. Pain that proves to be both unyielding and punishing in its intensity. Another flare, one of many I have experienced over the years of living with chronic pain. Once again, finding myself held hostage by the betrayal of my body. As I lie here, besieged by gruelling and unbearable pain, I have to decide: pain...

Continue reading
Reliving Heartbreak: Life with a chronic illness

Reliving Heartbreak: Life With A Chronic Illness

"The true heartbreak of living with chronic illness is being forced to relive the worst moments of it over and over again" I am an avid reader. I love nothing more than to sit and devour the latest bestsellers. Unfortunately, at times disabling symptoms that accompany chronic illness prevents me from doing so. Blurred vision, dizziness and intense, crippling pain all make reading near impossible. But still, I am grateful for the times I able to find pleasure in the pages...

Continue reading
Brave In The Face of Chronic Illness?

Brave In The Face of Chronic Illness?

Brave. A small but exceptionally awe-inspiring word. It is a word describing people who run toward danger when most would choose to run from it. Brave defines those who choose to defy their fears and anxieties and jump headfirst toward danger or risk. But I've noticed that it's a frequent response to a disclosure of living with a chronic illness. I've often heard other people calling me brave when describing my experiences living with FND. Other times, however, I...

Continue reading