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Welcome to the Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge brought together by WEGO Health – a social network for all health activists.  Again, I am participating in the annual Writer’s Month Challenge in which I will be writing about my health activism and health condition based on given prompts.

Sunday 26th April: Make it a great day!

Life is full of ups and downs.  Sometimes, the type of day we have is out of our control, but other times, we can influence how our day is going.  Come up with 5 tips for changing your frame of mind when you’re having a bad day!

There is saying that says ‘Life is like a rollercoaster.’  And this saying, perfectly sums up what it is to live with a chronic illness.

Every day there are many ups and downs as a result of our chronic illnesses.

There are plenty of ‘up’ moments, little moments that make the day worthwhile and gives us a reason to smile.

However, inevitably there are just as many ‘down’ moments, usually as a result of the onset of symptoms, and other effects that are a result of living with a chronic illness.

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It is true that we as individuals have control over how we are feeling and therefore influence how our day is going.  However, as those of living with a chronic illness will relate, often our symptoms and our long-term health condition very often dictate the type of day we are going to have.

Take yesterday, for instance, as my Mum has the week off from work, we were planning a trip to a local out-of-town shopping centre, which I was really looking forward to, especially as trips out, particularly those with Mum and Dad are rare.

However, on the morning of the planned trip, I awoke feeling exceptionally weak.  During the night, I experienced excruciating pain in my legs, and in the morning, I found that they were weak and barely strong enough to hold me up, never mind being strong enough to allow me to walk around shops for most of the morning.

Furthermore, the constant dizziness that I experience as a result of the brain stem lesion was exceptionally intense.

As a result, therefore, I felt that I was too unwell to go on the planned trip, and instead spent most of the day lying on the sofa beneath my comforting duvet whilst my parents went shopping.  It was disappointing and frustrating not being able to do something that I was so looking forward to, and just one example of not being in control of how our day is going.

So, on these bad days, and the days in which we have no control over our day as a result of illness, how can we help change our frame of mind to make a bad day seem less so?  Here are 5 tips that can help change our day:

  • Practice gratitude: In my experience, using a gratitude journal and practicing gratitude can greatly help change our mindset.  In these gratitude journals, it is useful to write at least 3 good things that happened to you during the day no matter how small or insignificant they may seem.  In my experience, in my doing so it helps to change your negative mindset into a positive one, and furthermore, it also helps to make you appreciate the little gifts that each day delivers.

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    Rewarding yourself: After a long day battling with symptoms such as pain, nausea, dizziness is a feat in itself! By planning to reward yourself, for getting through a difficult and stressful day, or for finishing a task despite dealing with debilitating symptoms it can help to give yourself something else to think about besides the symptoms currently being experienced.  Rewarding ourselves gives us something to look forward to despite the stresses of living with chronic illness. The reward does not need to be big or expensive; sometimes it’s finding pleasures in the little things in life.  My favourite reward?  A delicious bar of chocolate to savour at the end of the night!

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  • Listen to a favourite song and sing along!: Research has shown that listening to music that you like can actually alter your mood and alleviate feelings of depression.  Therefore, make your own ‘Feel Better’ playlist in your Mp3 player that includes songs that work for you and which lifts your mood.  Choose positive and uplifting songs that you can sing along to, such as the brilliant ‘Happy’ by Pharrell Williams.  It could really help change the outlook for the day!

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  • Honour yourself and your body: On these days, where we feel that we have no control, is the most important time to practice some self-care.  It is important to practice these rituals when we need it the most.  Nurture yourself by taking a warm bath, schedule a massage, cozy up with a book, or relax with a cup of tea and enjoy some quiet time.

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  • Smile!: Research has shown that in fact smiling really can turn a frown upside down.  When things seem bad smiling can actually make us feel more positive and happier about the situation, so let’s all try smiling!  And surround yourself with positive people and positive things – the positivity board that I have set up in my bedroom really does help when I am experiencing bad flares as a result of my condition.  It is a reminder that the negative situation is not permanent, it’s only temporary and as everything that is brief, it will soon pass.

Regular readers of my blog, and especially those who follow me on social media will know that life recently has been very tough due to the symptoms that are caused by the neurological condition that I am now forced to live with.  The symptoms associated with my neurological condition such as dizziness, fatigue, pain as well as the severe weakness and trembling in the legs have all deteriorated.  And as a  result of this deterioration, it has resulted in the loss in the ability to do a lot of the things that once came so easily, or those activities that I enjoy participating in.  One example, is the great difficulties that I have experienced in visiting our local high street.  Before this sudden deterioration, I found it so easy to be able to park in the town’s car park and walk the moderate distance towards the top end of the town to visit the shops that I like to browse and buy everything that I need.  However, recently due to the deterioration in the symptoms in my legs (the pain, trembling and weakness) even the short walk from the car park to the shops have felt more like the prospect of walking Mount Everest.

Dealing with symptoms can often feel like an uphill battle...
Dealing with symptoms can often feel like an uphill battle…

As a result, my carer has instead had to use the disabled parking bays in the town centre itself, so that I am able to use the amenities that I need to use, and still be able to go to the shops that I like to visit.  This arrangement has been far easier as they are extremely close to all the shops that I regularly shop at, but in all honesty, some days it is still a struggle to go shopping because of the severe weakness and trembling in the legs.  The dizziness, has also caused a very big obstacle in going out because it has become so intense, and has resulted in me having to wear a hat when visiting places (wearing a hat helps to limit the exposure to triggers that can cause vertigo, double vision or make the dizziness worse).

Last week was a particularly bad week, and a trip to town was cancelled after my legs almost gave way in the middle of town.  Instead, because the pain and weakness was so bad, my carer and I returned to the house and watched a film.  It is bad mornings with chronic illness like these which can be difficult for our morale and self-confidence; and very often it can feel that our day is already over thanks to chronic illness, unable to accomplish anything because of debilitating symptoms and so instead we find ourselves spending the rest of a ‘bad day’ spent in bed or lying on the sofa watching a marathon of our favourite TV series (my guilty pleasure of the moment is One Tree Hill).

However, I recently learnt that it does not have to be this way.  I found a blog post that read:

Today is not over yet.

And it is true.  At the time, I wrote off the day that my legs decided not to work properly and had to spend the morning watching a DVD instead of the shopping trip I had planned.  But that was not the end of the day.  After the film, and after I regained enough strength in my legs, my carer and I took a short drive to a nearby coffee shop and had lunch.  It actually turned out to be a lovely trip out and exactly what I needed to take care of myself and my body against the effects that my condition has had on my life.  And perhaps ‘Today is not over yet’ is a mantra that we spoonies need to remember.  Just because a day has started off bad because of the effects of chronic illness does not mean the day will be bad.  It does not even mean that the day is over.

Finding joy can often be like seeing a rainbow appearing behind clouds...
Finding joy can often be like seeing a rainbow appearing behind clouds…

We can find joy in the little things on the bad days – a letter or card from a dear friend landing on the doorstep, a cuddle from a furry friend, a favourite song on the radio, someone making our favourite meal. Our silver linings can come from the smallest of things.

So, our chronic illness may have meant that we have frittered away our time doing as little as possible, however as the quote suggests it does not mean that our day is over.  We are still here and we are still very much alive and as long as we are it is not to late to do something, to do anything.  It can provide the perfect opportunity to pursue some self-care practices in order to take care of not just our physical health but also our psychological health.  A few self-care activities may include:

  • having a soothing bath
  • meditating
  • reading
  • pampering yourself, e.g. getting hair done or even a manicure
  • crafting
  • can even be as simple as setting limits for yourself

Even if you do end up doing something, it may be something that we hadn’t planned on doing or even wanted to do.  However, it might just end up being something we needed or better than originally planned.  Just like my impromptu visit to a local coffee shop.

So next time, you have had a bad start (or at any point of the day, really) to the day and your thought is navigating towards writing the entire day off as a bad one, just remember:

Today is not over yet.

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