Lost the Battle, but will win the war

Today I am participating in WordPress Daily Prompt Challenge.  I have never done so before, but after seeing today’s prompt, I decided to do so, as it fits in nicely with what my blog is all about – me living with my neurological condition.  The prompt is entitled ‘Take Care’ and asks the following:

When you’re unwell, do you allow others to take care of you, or do you prefer to soldier on alone? What does it take for you to ask for help?

 

 

This is a fantastic prompt for both me and spoonies everywhere, as living with illness is what we do on a daily basis; day in and day out we are unwell.  The prompt, perhaps was meant for those who are, for the majority of the time healthy – asking when in the instances they are ill, what do they like to do – but I am going to write the prompt from my perspective; as a spoonie living with an illness 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (366 days in the event of a leap year!).

Living with a chronic illness is very much like being in constant war with our bodies.  Sometimes, the illness wins the battle; leaving our bodies drained of all energy and will to carry on.  But with determination and very often needing the help of others we battle on, determined to winning the overall war.  Each individual though obviously has their own way of dealing with their illness, but whatever that coping strategy may be we have no choice but to solider on and get through it the best we can; we all need to live our lives the best way we can, whatever our individual circumstances may be.

Living with a neurological condition, when I am bad because of it, I have very little option but to rely on the help of others to see me through.  My balance and legs are bad much of the time; I am unable to stand for very long before they collapse from under m, leaving me a crumpled heap on the floor!  Sometimes, my legs are so weak that I am unable to get out of bed, and so am reliant on others to help me to the bathroom, or to bring me food and drink whilst I am confined to my bed.

Often, I am too stubborn to ask for help; preferring to soldier on regardless to how my body feels.  But, as I am lying on the floor, dizzy, legs too weak for me to be able to get back up, I am reigned to the fact that I am in need of help and call for help (if I am on my own, however, I need to press my lifeline for someone to come and rescue me from the floor).  Perhaps it is hard to ask for help because, the condition has progressed gradually, and a few years ago, I didn’t need this level of help in my daily life; I didn’t need someone to help me off the floor after a fall, or needed supporting when walking around the local shops. In my head, I am still abled and not disabled…

That is not to say that I don’t need my alone time – I do; I like sometimes to shut myself in my bedroom from my parents and the outside world.  To have some peace and quiet is all I crave when things become too much; often when I am feeling incredibly low because of the condition is bad.  I like to stick my headphones on and listen to music, watch a film on Netflix, or even read a book to take me away from the reality of illness and to escape to another world.

Perhaps the way of getting through illness, is not to soldier alone or even to ask constantly for help, but to find a healthy balance between the two…

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6 thoughts on “Lost the Battle, but will win the war

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