Sorry for the recent lack of updates on the blog. Despite still being active on my social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, I however have struggled to find the time or energy to write a post for the blog. I had been experiencing good days during the last posts that I published, but unfortunately as many of you living with chronic illness will relate to, these good days do not last, and so my health has slowly regressed back and therefore bad days have replaced the good days.
During my break from writing, I have found the time to watch some of the films that I had been wanting to see for some time. I cried during ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ and was particularly enthralled with ‘Maleficient’. I was captivated with the story of the villain depicted in the classic Disney film ‘Sleeping Beauty’ and even more so by the wonderful performance by Angelina Jolie.
I was particularly impressed by how Maleficient was not simply a retelling of the fairytale Sleeping Beauty. Don’t get me wrong, I love fairy tales, my favourite being Beauty and the Beast, but let’s face it, they are all highly unrealistic. They portray everything as being black or white; characters being either good or evil for example. What I loved about Maleficient therefore was the portrayal of the eponymous character as being both good and evil. Unlike with classic fairy tales, the story of Maleficient portrayed various shades of grey.
This then got me thinking of life with chronic illness. If we were in a fairy tale, our illnesses would be portrayed as an evil beast, much like Maleficient in Sleeping Beauty or Ursula from The Little Mermaid as examples. Our lives would be darkened and ruined by the beast that is inside of us. Each and everyday would be bad with no room for happiness, sunshine or joy.
However, just as real life is not simply black and white; I choose to believe that life with chronic illness is more like the portrayal of Maleficient; there is no good or evil. I believe that even living with something as difficult as chronic illness, there are a lot of different shades of grey. There are good times despite living with chronic illness, even though the bad days heavily outweigh the good ones.
I also choose to believe that during our lives with chronic illness, it can be portrayed as both a hero and villain just like Maleficient in the film of the same name. It may sound strange to describe a chronic illness as a hero, given the severe and debilitating symptoms we have to live with because of it. However chronic illness can also have a positive impact upon our lives as it can teach us things about ourselves that we might never have known. Chronic illness can also give us strength and resilience to overcome many obstacles and limitations that our conditions can place in our path to our goals and dreams. Furthermore, we can also become more empathetic and understanding as a result of our struggles with illness. Living with a long-term health condition can teach us some invaluable life lessons that we may never have learnt if it wasn’t for illness, such as the importance of learning to slow down, and learning to appreciate the small things in life. It is for these reasons therefore, that although due to severe and debilitating symptoms, illness can play the role of a villain in our lives, it can also learn to play the role of a heroine.
The classic fairy tales such as Snow White and Sleeping Beauty have also stereotypically portrayed us females as rather feeble and fragile and thus needs to be rescued by a handsome and strong Prince. Modern Disney films, such as Mulan and Frozen for example, have shattered these archetypes and have shown that females have the strength and power to rescue themselves from whatever trials and tribulations that life has thrown at them. My experience of living with a permanent neurological condition has also taught me that we all have the power to rescue ourselves from our own battles in whatever form that they take. Doctors, medications and other treatments for me and many others can only do so much, and it is often down to us as individuals to self-manage our conditions and find the little ways which ease our symptoms or makes us feel better emotionally. It is up to us to save ourselves from the depression and emotional pain that can result from living with a long-term chronic illness. It is our own responsibility to make sure we are happy and live the best life we can regardless of the limitations that are placed upon us due to chronic illness.
Classic fairy tales and Disney films are renowned for their ‘happily ever after’ and as we are all aware, in real-life, and especially a life with chronic illness happily ever after simply does not exist. It does not mean that we cannot be happy, however we need to find our own idea of happiness, whatever that may entail. Happy endings can be difficult to find as a result of chronic illness, but I would like to think that they can still be found, but perhaps it just means that we have to look that little bit more to find the rainbow through our personal storms.